4 Years and 7 Days Ago...

I know, it's a clever title isn't it? But it's not exactly accurate. I just thought it sounded better than 4 years and 11 days ago (that doesn't have the same Gettysburg Address feeling, does it?). And it also goes to show you that in the hustle and bustle of the first two weeks of school, I let my 4 year anniversary date go by unnoticed. Now, that's not to say that I forgot that I have Leukemia. It's just that I was too busy to notice the technicality of it being 4 years since I was diagnosed.

This realization has made me reflect back on that day and the week that followed.

I briefly summarized that day on my second ever blog post (along with the months that preceded and followed it), but I'm feeling the need to reflect in more detail. But here is what I posted then: August 25, 2006 = The first day that our new insurance goes into affect, I get myself to the doctor. I'm not that worried. I get in at 3:30. I tell him about the mass and about my bruising. He starts asking me questions: "Have you been having headaches?"--yes, but I haven't had my eyes checked in 2 years...I probably just need glasses. "Have you been having night sweats?"--sure, but isn't everyone...it's been 104 degrees outside. "What about fatigue?"--of course...I'm a teacher and a mother of 2. By 4:00, he's testing my blood (so they can rule out anything serious). By 4:15, the hematologist/oncologist is telling me that I have leukemia. By 4:30, I am being admitted into the hospital to have my first bone marrow biopsy done.

This time, I'd like to start at 4:20 on that day: So, I had just been told that I had Leukemia and that I had to be admitted into the hospital. The doctor's office was connected to the hospital, so a nurse was just going to walk me in to the ER. What's the first thing I think? "Wait, what about Kevin and the kids?" Kevin had dropped me off so he could take the kids to the pediatrician down the street. He would be back soon to pick me up. (Looking back, I'm still not sure I went about this the best way, but I still can't think of an option that would have been better either.) I knew I didn't want him to get there and have to be told by a nurse about what had happened. I didn't want him to hear it from a stranger...I wanted him to hear it from me. But they wouldn't let me wait for him. They said I had to go right away in order to get the necessary tests done that day. So, I decided to call him. (Now, I'm thinking about my husband who had already had to deal with losing his dad to a heart attack and his mom to breast cancer. How do I possibly tell him that now his wife has leukemia? It seemed like too much.) I didn't know how else to do it, so I just took a deep breath and tried not to cry too much when I told him. The pediatrician and nurses kind of kept the kids while he collected himself, and then they met me at the hospital while I was getting ready for my first bone marrow biopsy (having no idea what to expect, or really even what that meant). When I remember the look on his face when he saw me, it makes me cry every time. I had just laid so much on him, and then I had to leave him to call in to work, keep the kids, and call my parents to let them know. (I can't imagine what that conversation must have been like...having to tell your mother and father-in law that their daughter is sick...getting that call from your son-in-law.) But throughout all of that, I never really thought much about me. I had a very peaceful feeling about that for myself. My fears and sadness only came in when I thought about how much this was all going to affect the people in my life. I can only imagine how I would have felt if the situation had been reversed, and I'm so sorry about that.

That evening, I was told that I would have to be in the hospital for at least 5 more days (Saturday through Wednesday). I wasn't worried about the kids. (My parents, my sister, my little brother, Kevin's sister, and Kevin's brother were all on their way. And my parents were going to stay at least until I was home.) I was worried about school. The next week was only going to be the 3rd week of school, and you just don't miss days like that at the beginning of the year. I didn't have anyone's phone number, so I just had Kevin call my friend, Tosha, because I knew her number was in the phone book. And that very night, I was visited by my her and some of my other besties from school who assured me they had everything taken care of (lesson plans, copies, helping the sub, and anything else that would come up that week).

In case I had forgotten, or had taken it for granted, I was vividly reminded during the days that followed my diagnosis of how blessed I was (and still am) to have such wonderful people in my life who care so much about me. I truly don't know how we would have gotten through that week without everyone. From taking care of the kids, the house, and groceries, taking care of school things, keeping our spirits high, keeping our minds occupied, and even decorating my hospital room, Kevin and I really couldn't have done it without our friends and family.

So, here's a big THANK YOU to everyone who helped us through that week and who continues to help us in any way they can...the biggest of which is prayer! But I'd like to give a special shout-out to a few (in no particular order): Kevin, Mom & Dad, Sheila, Jaime, Josh, Joel, Tosha, Katie, Karen, Kristin, Melanie, Angela, Lisa, Micah, Elliott, Sandy, Sheila W., and many others. I love you all and appreciate everything you did (and still do) more than words can say.