So....it seems that my motivations behind blogging are surprisingly selfish.
#1 I enjoy it.
#2 It is a creative outlet for me.
#3 It gives me a voice...whether what I have to say is important or entertaining or not.
#4 I lose motivation when I don't get comments. It all goes back to my inadequacy issues: I don't have anything of any value to say...I must not have been clever enough...nobody else enjoyed that.
It's ridiculous isn't it? It seems that despite how much I have changed since high school (married, college graduate, home-owner, mother of 2, teacher, etc), some things have remained remarkably unchanged. I still have some of the same insecurities. I still have body issues...although now I actually have a reason to. I am still a bit of a wallflower. If I'm in a large group, I will either stick to the sidelines and observe, or gravitate to my own familiar grouping. I am still very dependent and needy on my friends...I don't want to go somewhere unless I know there will be enough people that I know there.
However, I also still LOVE to laugh...it's my very favorite thing to do. I still think of myself as young (even when I really don't feel that way physically). I still love to sing and dance...especially when no one's watching/listening. I still think of my high school friends frequently and fondly. I still love to watch movies and hang out with my family. I still have an emotional connection when I go to church.
Even though my motivations may be selfish, the part of me that has remained unchanged (both good and bad) tells me that my motivations are also pure of heart. I love my family and friends, and I know that they love me...and comments or not, I know they love reading what I have to say. Afterall...I am awesome!
Now how's that for pure of heart...ha ha! :)
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You are awesome! Blogging should be a selfish act in my opinion. Well for the most part anyway. I like to rant on mine...and who cares if a week goes by without good blog fodder? I must be doing something right, because I have 34 followers and I only have met 5 in person. It took a while before I got a lot of comments. I think my blog makeover really helped me out. The more I wrote the more comments I got.
ReplyDeleteDo you want me to have my followers check you out? My blog's not searchable on google, so only people who hit my blog will see it.
Sure, why not?! That'd be great! :)
ReplyDeleteTracy, you perfectly described exactly how I feel about blogging. I eventually adapted the "this is recording for my kids" philosophy but still love to have feedback. If you go to sitemeter.com you can see how to add a counter to your site. It will let you track how many views you get, and also from WHERE the views are coming. So, even if you don't know necessarily WHO is looking, you know from where. Just a thought. Keep bloggin' girl...you're good at it!
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