So, I realize that there may be some of you that are just hearing about this. Sorry, that it was just thrown out there like that. When I was diagnosed, I let my friends that I kept in touch with know. I later started getting into myspace/facebook and getting back in touch with other friends. But I didn't think it would be cool to respond to the "Hey, what have you been up to?" questions with "Oh, not much...just a little leukemia." I didn't want to bombard people on those sites with that kind of stuff, so I try to keep it light.
For those that may have been shocked, and even for those that may already know...here's the story:
February 2006: I had just lost about 25 pounds. I was thinner than I was in high school. Mason was 1 year old. I noticed a mass in my abdomen, but I was pretty sure it was just my stomach that was actually able to feel for the first time. As the months went on, that mass was either getting bigger or it was moving. After doing some research online, I was confident that it wasn't anything serious...I didn't have any other symptoms. I just figured that after having 2 babies so close together my internal organs were just finding their way back to their original positions.
July 2006: I am pretty sure that this mass, whatever it was, was in fact getting bigger. But we were in between insurances, so I didn't let myself get to worried about it...I could wait until the end of August. I started getting really big, dark bruises. Now, I've always been an easy bruiser, but these were not like any others I've ever had. Of course, all I needed was some potassium or some other vitamin...no big deal.
August 25, 2006: The first day that our insurance goes into affect, I get myself to the doctor. Again, I'm not that worried. I get in at 3:30. I tell him about the mass and about my bruising. He starts asking me questions: "Have you been having headaches?"--yes, but I haven't had my eyes checked in 2 years...I probably just need glasses. "Have you been having night sweats?"--sure, but isn't everyone...it's been 104 degrees outside. "What about fatigue?"--of course...I'm a teacher and a mother of 2. By 4:00, he's testing my blood (so they can rule out anything serious). By 4:15, the hematologist/oncologist is telling me that I have leukemia. By 4:30, I am being admitted into the hospital to have my first bone marrow biopsy done.
For those that may have been shocked, and even for those that may already know...here's the story:
February 2006: I had just lost about 25 pounds. I was thinner than I was in high school. Mason was 1 year old. I noticed a mass in my abdomen, but I was pretty sure it was just my stomach that was actually able to feel for the first time. As the months went on, that mass was either getting bigger or it was moving. After doing some research online, I was confident that it wasn't anything serious...I didn't have any other symptoms. I just figured that after having 2 babies so close together my internal organs were just finding their way back to their original positions.
July 2006: I am pretty sure that this mass, whatever it was, was in fact getting bigger. But we were in between insurances, so I didn't let myself get to worried about it...I could wait until the end of August. I started getting really big, dark bruises. Now, I've always been an easy bruiser, but these were not like any others I've ever had. Of course, all I needed was some potassium or some other vitamin...no big deal.
August 25, 2006: The first day that our insurance goes into affect, I get myself to the doctor. Again, I'm not that worried. I get in at 3:30. I tell him about the mass and about my bruising. He starts asking me questions: "Have you been having headaches?"--yes, but I haven't had my eyes checked in 2 years...I probably just need glasses. "Have you been having night sweats?"--sure, but isn't everyone...it's been 104 degrees outside. "What about fatigue?"--of course...I'm a teacher and a mother of 2. By 4:00, he's testing my blood (so they can rule out anything serious). By 4:15, the hematologist/oncologist is telling me that I have leukemia. By 4:30, I am being admitted into the hospital to have my first bone marrow biopsy done.
It was fast...it was hard to take in...but that was that. I've always had a strange sense of peace about it. God really stepped in for me.
October 2008: My first oral chemotherapy medication did its part and worked for the first year and a half. When my body stopped responding, I switched to a new one. There are side effects (which you may hear me gripe about on another post). Some days are worse than others. But things could always be MUCH worse! The fact that I can't have kids while on these medications, however disappointing, is really a blessing in disguise. It has shown me that this is all part of God's plan. I don't know why this is happening now, but I think it explains why I had my kids so close together and so young. If my life had gone according to MY plan, I wouldn't have them.
I have been to MD Anderson twice. I get regular (every 3-6 months) bone marrow biopsies. And I will probably be on this medication for the rest of my life. I take things one day at a time. I know that if there comes a time when the medications don't cut it, my sister is a bone marrow match for me. I hope that it doesn't come to that, but if it does, I know that God will take care of us.
So, there it is...a long story kept long. Please don't be scared off by it. I'm still ME. Feel free to pretend you don't know, if that makes you more comfortable. Or feel free to ask me questions.
It's like when Deborah Winger went to New York to see her friend in "Terms of Endearment", and she said, "It's OK to talk about the cancer!"
Thank you so much for sharing that! What a trooper you are, and what a testimony your life truly is! Prayers for you, gal!
ReplyDeleteI have always maintained that you handled "the news" much better than any of the rest of us. It shows your depth of courage and your trust in God.
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