Memories...

Intubation: Mason was a baby (about 8 months old). Hannah (2 years old) was playing with her toys, Mason was safely in his walker, and I had the audacity to use the restroom. As I'm pulling up my pants, I hear Mason start to cry....one of those "I'm hurt" cries. I run around the corner, find Hannah hiding in the kitchen and Mason with blood in his mouth. Upon closer examination, I also find a straw laying on the floor near his walker...it also has blood on it.

Long story short, I rush Mason to the emergency with Hannah in tow. The doctors check his throat...no visible damage. They give him an X-ray just to be sure...no damage. They then proceed to have a bit of a laugh saying, "You should be quite proud of your daughter...she may be a medical prodigy. She basically just performed her first intubation at the age of 2!"

Special Seasoning: Mason was almost 1 and Hannah was almost 3. I was at school...so Daddy was in charge. When I get home, Kevin said that there was something I needed to see. But before I see anything, I smell something...a lot of different somethings. I get to the hallway and see a fine dusting all over the carpet. When I go to Mason's room, there is that same dusting all over his carpet and his crib. Apparently while Kevin was napping, Hannah had gotten into all of our seasoning packets (alfredo sauce, burrito seasoning, kool-aid mixes, you name it). She tore into them, sprinkled them all over....including all over Mason! Kevin had the good sense to clean Mason up, but thought was funny enough to save the rest of the damage for me to see first hand!

Rip Off!: The kids were little (about 3 and 1), and they were taking a bath together. Unfortunately, due to my laundry-ing skills, I had to run around the corner to grab a towel. On my way back, I hear Mason SCREAMING! I run the last 3 steps and see Hannah literally trying to rip off his...you know. Poor little guy!

Garden Hose: I get home from school (once again, Daddy had been in charge), and Mason tells me he needs to go potty. He's almost 3 and we're done potty training, so I just tell him to go. He says, "I tan't, Mommy!" I say, "What do you mean you can't?" He pulls down his pants and says, "Look..." I look and see a band-aid placed strategically, and quite accurately across the tip. I can see that he needs to go badly, so I save my questions for later and start trying to take the band-aid off. Before I can finish, he warns me that he can't hold it an longer. I try to hurry him to the bathroom, but it's too late. He proceeds to pee, and because of the band-aid, it comes out like water does when you have your thumb over the end of a garden hose!!!

Apparently, he told Hannah that his...you know...hurt. And what is the logical thing for a 4 almost 5 year old to do when there's an owie?! Put a band-aid on it, of course!

Toothpaste Ghost: I'm giving Mason a bath...he's 4. I notice something blue on his...you know. When I ask him what it is, he replies very matter-of-factly, "Toospaste". When I ask him how it got there, he says, "I don't know, maybe da toospaste dost (ghost) did it." When I asked why in the world a ghost would want to put toothpaste there, he said, "Uhhh...maybe he doesn't like bwushing his tees".

OH...of course! It makes perfect sense...I should have known! If you're not going to use toothpaste on your teeth, the next best place for it is your privates!!!

Trampoline: This one will be quick...this happened last year (4 and almost 6).

Hannah comes inside, wet from head to toe and crying. When I ask her what's wrong and what happened, she sadly replies "Mason peed on me!" I say, "But you're wet ALL over!?!" That is when she tells me that he peed while jumping on the trampoline...thus...pee from head to toe!