Life Lessons...

This was sent to me by my brother-in-law (AKA: Anonymous). It was written by a 90 year old columnist. I thought it was good enough to share. I'll highlight some of my favorites, and add some other life lessons...by Cakes at the end!

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God.. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".
26. Always choose life.
27 Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. Time heals almost everything.. Give time, time
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Yield.
44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
45. Answer/return phone calls immediately.

46. Live like your kids are watching...because they are.
47. Pray everyday.
48. Procrastinate now, rather than later.
49. Prioritize...there are some things that can wait.
50. Eat cake.
60. Let people know that you care...a kind word, a hug, some baked goods, a listening ear...it doesn't take much.
61. Say, "I love you" every day.
62. Sing and dance...whether you're good or not (I mean, we can't all be as good as me, but don't let that stop you).
63. Laugh every day.

That's all for now. What are your favorites from the list? Do you have any to add?

Ghost Stories...

My parent's house is haunted:

** When I was little (about 6 or 7, I think) my bed was on the wall opposite from my bedroom door. I shared the room with my older sister, but her bed was on the door wall. We slept with the door open, so when I was laying in bed, I could see straight out the door to the landing at the top of the stairs. I distinctly remember (on many occasions) looking out to that spot and seeing a white, transparent figure standing there. I would blink, and it would be gone. It was a woman, one that I thought looked older, like a grandma. I was never afraid...I felt oddly safe when I would see her. She would look at me, smile, and then she's just vanish in the blink of an eye...literally. Now, as to whether it was an actual ghost, or a guardian angel, or maybe the spirit of my grandma Irene checking in on me, I don't know. But I was always, and am still convinced that it was real.

**Every Christmas, my family opens presents in our living room on Christmas Eve. We each have our own spots around the room. Well, my sister's spot was located in front of our TV. We ALWAYS made it a point to turn the TV off when we opened presents. And this was back in the day when you took pictures that had to get developed...so you had to wait to see how they turned out. Well, we picked up our pictures and started looking through them. We come across one of my sister opening gifts. The TV behind her is dark...except for one very menacing looking face in the screen. The man's face seems to be peering over her shoulder. It's VERY spooky. It's not long after that that we start hearing footsteps upstairs when no one's up there. We very often get that feeling that "someone's behind me", but when we turn around no one's there. There's this one spot in our kitchen floor that kind of bubbles up. We've had it fixed before, but the bubble comes back. ...... We're pretty sure there was some terrible accident there before the house was built. And that spot in the kitchen is right on top of where the body was. :)

The Lady of the Lake

Check out this link for some background info: www.sgha.net/tx/abilene/ftphantominvest1.html
Basically, Lake Fort Phantom is haunted by a woman, carrying a lantern in search of her long lost boyfriend/husband/lover...depending on the story.

**The summer after my senior year, there was an article in the Abilene newspaper about the legend of the Lady of the Lake. It gave the background story, as well as the steps that one should take to conjure her up. So, naturally, it seemed like THE thing to do for some good old fashioned family bonding: Mom, Dad, Jaime (my older sister), Josh (my little brother), me....and Kevin (my then boyfriend of 4 months). Great idea, right?! So, we do what the article tells us to do. We go out the the creepy old cemetery at the lake 3 nights in a row, just after midnight, and wait. Each night gets progressively creepier. The last night...the night she was supposed to appear, surrounded by a red haze, was by far the creepiest. It was, however, also the night that my mom decided to bring her holy water and rosary beads...just to be safe. So, we're out at the cemetery, waiting in silence when we start hearing a very eerie sound...it sounds like a mix between a howling dog and a baby crying. We figure it's got to be the coyotes in the area...but no ordinary coyote has ever sounded like this....and it sounds like it's getting louder...or maybe closer. Time goes on, and in addition to the "coyote" sound, there appears to be a red haze forming over the moon. "This is it! It's gonna happen!" We wait, but she never shows herself. Now, whether it's Mom's fault for bringing the holy water and rosaries, or because maybe deep down some of us didn't believe she would come, I don't know. But I do think she was there, somewhere...I could feel it.

Does that make me crazy? Maybe. But does it also make you all wish you were a part of my family? Definitely!

:)

Parodies...

...to the tune of "I Like Big Butts"...

I like to bake, and I just can't lie.
I like to eat it and I can't deny,
When a cake comes out I want a little-bitty taste
And then I shove it all in my face, I say YUM!

...to the tune of "Sweet Caroline"...

I'm so tired!
Bum-bum-bum
I just can't get enough sleep! (No sleep, no sleep, no sleep!)
I'm worn out!
Bum-bum-bum
Will I ever have energy again?

...to the tune of "Ice Ice Baby"...

Alright Stop! Turn in your work, now let's go.
Sit back down and quit pickin' in your nose.
Someone grabs a hold of me slightly
"I've got to go pee", she says real brightly.
Will it ever stop? Yo, I know it won't.
Quit hitting each other...now just don't!
Teachers work hard to support kids each and every day,
We love what we do, but would like a little more pay!


:)

Things...

Things I want, but don't have:

~ clean carpet
~ nice shoes
~ a stand mixer
~ laundry that folds itself
~ a vacation (even for the weekend) in the near future
~ a bathroom that's actually big enough for Kevin and me to be in at the same time
~ "extra" money
~ a fence that doesn't fall down every time the wind blows
~ cute lacey camis of various colors to wear under a variety of tops
~ tile floors

....the list could go on and on....

Things I have, but don't want:

~ crappy linoleum
~ obnoxious neighbors
~ an upcoming bone marrow biopsy
~ laundry that never ends
~ dishes that never go away
~ an apparently mediocre football team
~ a dangerous sweet tooth
~ a serious lack of desire to exercise
~ stress
~ a face that is utterly destroyed (red, blotchy, puffy...) at the slightest cry...and with as often as I cry (over even the most trivial of things)...it's a problem

...the list could go on and on...

Things I have that I have always wanted:

~ a wonderful husband that makes me laugh every day (even if he does make me roll my eyes a lot)
~ healthy, happy kids that are sweet...most of the time (even if they drive me nuts sometimes)
~ a house to live in that I gripe about, but am SO thankful to have
~ a strong faith that has gotten me through some tough times
~ a supportive, loving family that knows how to have a good time
~ a relationship with my mom that I can truly call friendship
~ amazing friends that can make anything (even a hospital stay) fun
~ a job that I hope I am good at, and that I hope makes a difference
~ a church that I enjoy going to
~ a life that gives me reasons to laugh, cry, worry, be proud, be happy, and be thankful

...the list could go on and on...

Ugh...

Today, I wake up and start fixing my hair...for the first time in what feels like weeks. But then I figure I better stick my head outside first. It was only going to be the most humid day ever...and thus, completely pointless to fix my hair! UGH!

On the bright side, I get to wear comfortable/exercise style clothes to school today (we were doing health screenings). But what's this?! Oh yeah...I don't have anything that looks decent and fits. So, I go with the baggy crop pants that on my short legs just end up looking like high-waters. UGH!

I get to school and have one of the worst head-aches I've ever had. I have the lights off most of the morning. It doesn't help that the kids are completely stir-crazy due to lack of outside time. It doesn't help that some of them weren't even going to pretend to be paying attention today. UGH!

So, my headache finally calms down after lunch. But then, my lower back starts hurting. I feel like I'm in labor...seriously. It feels just like it did with Mason...back labor. I spend a good portion of the afternoon teaching, hunched over in a chair. UGH!

I have to stay late today. But it's OK, I get to laugh while planning with my teaching buddies. But I'm tired (exhausted, really), stiff and achy (arthritic, really), and am apparently having a baby soon (not really). UGH!

Then, I got to go get my flu shot. I've never gotten the flu shot before. I've never had the flu before, either. Due to my low immune system, my Dr. is recommending that I get one this year. I will probably get the flu now, just because I got the shot. And now, my arm's starting to hurt. UGH!


There...I did it. I whined and griped quite sufficiently. Now I can relax, watch some pointless TV, do some more school work, try (and fail) to get comfortable, and get ready to have a better day tomorrow!

Peace out...word to your mother!

Treats by Cakes

So, Treats by Cakes was/is my very short lived home-baking business. Here's the address to the totally free, and thus un-googleable website: http://treatsbycakes.googlepages.com/home

It all started when I baked for friends. I would get the semi-honest, yet somewhat obligatory "Ooh these are so good...you should sell this stuff" kinds of comments. Then one day...out of boredom, I sad down at the computer and found that free webpage creator. I was just messing around, so I wasn't willing to put any money into it. So, I let my family and my friends at school know about it. And low and behold...I actually got some orders! It was fun, but I felt very strange about accepting money from my friends. It was toward the end of the school year, and once summer came, it just sort of fizzled out.

I still get asked once in a while if I'm still doing my baking business. I reply, "Well, I'm still baking...the website's still out there...but no, not really...not lately anyway." And then they respond with the expected, "Oh, well...I'm thinking about maybe needing something in a few weeks or so. If I do, I'll let you know." Sure...sounds good. But it doesn't happen...no big deal.

I've had the opportunity to have a booth at the local chocolate festival. Unfortunately, I've never had the time/energy/money to get one set up. And even if I did, I fear that either nothing would come from it (which would feel like a big waste of time)....or too much would come from it (and I wouldn't be able to handle it). Sure, a little extra money would be nice. But most days, I barely have the energy to get through the school day, make dinner, grade papers, etc., etc. for my won family...let alone do a great deal of baking for other people if it really took off.

I still have a 1/2 page menu and a business card design ready at vistprint.com, if I ever decide to do more with it. But for now, it's nothing more than a hobby. I love baking, and I love sharing what I bake with the people I care about. Baking, for now, is jut an extension of my heart. And maybe I never really wanted it to become any more than that.

Anyway, that's that. Now, to gear up for the holiday baking season...YUM!!

Petty Complaints

* Why is it that with a week that seemed SO long, it still seems like only yesterday that I did the laundry?!

* How is it that Barack Obama managed to get himself the Nobel Peace Prize?!

* It's not that I don't like shoes, because I do. I'd like to have a cute pair of silver, sparkly keds-like shoes...just for fun. I'd like to have boots (both brown and black) that have been special ordered to fit around my big ol' calves. I'd like to have various pairs of casual shoes to coordinate with different outfits. It's just that I HATE shopping for shoes to fit my clown feet. And it's just that I don't see how I could ever rationalize spending that money on myself....even if I had the extra money to spend.

* Why can't I find a comfortable position to sit or lay in for longer than 10 minutes...ever?!

* That pistachio commercial with Levi Johnston is very tacky...kind of funny...but VERY tacky.

* Why don't I like cheesecake? I like just about EVERY other kind of dessert...and they always look SO good, but then they all just taste kind of blah to me. What is that all about?!

* Well, I can't seem to win the lottery. I didn't get chosen for the Pillsbury Bake-Off to win a million dollars there, either. How hard can it be to come into easy money? :)

Any other petty complaints/rhetorical questions to go along with mine?

:)

Motivations

So....it seems that my motivations behind blogging are surprisingly selfish.

#1 I enjoy it.
#2 It is a creative outlet for me.
#3 It gives me a voice...whether what I have to say is important or entertaining or not.
#4 I lose motivation when I don't get comments. It all goes back to my inadequacy issues: I don't have anything of any value to say...I must not have been clever enough...nobody else enjoyed that.

It's ridiculous isn't it? It seems that despite how much I have changed since high school (married, college graduate, home-owner, mother of 2, teacher, etc), some things have remained remarkably unchanged. I still have some of the same insecurities. I still have body issues...although now I actually have a reason to. I am still a bit of a wallflower. If I'm in a large group, I will either stick to the sidelines and observe, or gravitate to my own familiar grouping. I am still very dependent and needy on my friends...I don't want to go somewhere unless I know there will be enough people that I know there.

However, I also still LOVE to laugh...it's my very favorite thing to do. I still think of myself as young (even when I really don't feel that way physically). I still love to sing and dance...especially when no one's watching/listening. I still think of my high school friends frequently and fondly. I still love to watch movies and hang out with my family. I still have an emotional connection when I go to church.

Even though my motivations may be selfish, the part of me that has remained unchanged (both good and bad) tells me that my motivations are also pure of heart. I love my family and friends, and I know that they love me...and comments or not, I know they love reading what I have to say. Afterall...I am awesome!

Now how's that for pure of heart...ha ha! :)

Memories...

Intubation: Mason was a baby (about 8 months old). Hannah (2 years old) was playing with her toys, Mason was safely in his walker, and I had the audacity to use the restroom. As I'm pulling up my pants, I hear Mason start to cry....one of those "I'm hurt" cries. I run around the corner, find Hannah hiding in the kitchen and Mason with blood in his mouth. Upon closer examination, I also find a straw laying on the floor near his walker...it also has blood on it.

Long story short, I rush Mason to the emergency with Hannah in tow. The doctors check his throat...no visible damage. They give him an X-ray just to be sure...no damage. They then proceed to have a bit of a laugh saying, "You should be quite proud of your daughter...she may be a medical prodigy. She basically just performed her first intubation at the age of 2!"

Special Seasoning: Mason was almost 1 and Hannah was almost 3. I was at school...so Daddy was in charge. When I get home, Kevin said that there was something I needed to see. But before I see anything, I smell something...a lot of different somethings. I get to the hallway and see a fine dusting all over the carpet. When I go to Mason's room, there is that same dusting all over his carpet and his crib. Apparently while Kevin was napping, Hannah had gotten into all of our seasoning packets (alfredo sauce, burrito seasoning, kool-aid mixes, you name it). She tore into them, sprinkled them all over....including all over Mason! Kevin had the good sense to clean Mason up, but thought was funny enough to save the rest of the damage for me to see first hand!

Rip Off!: The kids were little (about 3 and 1), and they were taking a bath together. Unfortunately, due to my laundry-ing skills, I had to run around the corner to grab a towel. On my way back, I hear Mason SCREAMING! I run the last 3 steps and see Hannah literally trying to rip off his...you know. Poor little guy!

Garden Hose: I get home from school (once again, Daddy had been in charge), and Mason tells me he needs to go potty. He's almost 3 and we're done potty training, so I just tell him to go. He says, "I tan't, Mommy!" I say, "What do you mean you can't?" He pulls down his pants and says, "Look..." I look and see a band-aid placed strategically, and quite accurately across the tip. I can see that he needs to go badly, so I save my questions for later and start trying to take the band-aid off. Before I can finish, he warns me that he can't hold it an longer. I try to hurry him to the bathroom, but it's too late. He proceeds to pee, and because of the band-aid, it comes out like water does when you have your thumb over the end of a garden hose!!!

Apparently, he told Hannah that his...you know...hurt. And what is the logical thing for a 4 almost 5 year old to do when there's an owie?! Put a band-aid on it, of course!

Toothpaste Ghost: I'm giving Mason a bath...he's 4. I notice something blue on his...you know. When I ask him what it is, he replies very matter-of-factly, "Toospaste". When I ask him how it got there, he says, "I don't know, maybe da toospaste dost (ghost) did it." When I asked why in the world a ghost would want to put toothpaste there, he said, "Uhhh...maybe he doesn't like bwushing his tees".

OH...of course! It makes perfect sense...I should have known! If you're not going to use toothpaste on your teeth, the next best place for it is your privates!!!

Trampoline: This one will be quick...this happened last year (4 and almost 6).

Hannah comes inside, wet from head to toe and crying. When I ask her what's wrong and what happened, she sadly replies "Mason peed on me!" I say, "But you're wet ALL over!?!" That is when she tells me that he peed while jumping on the trampoline...thus...pee from head to toe!

Commandments...

So, at church on Sunday I heard a really good sermon. He spoke of how people are coming down with "cardio-sclerosis"...not literally, but figuratively. People are becoming more and more cynical, and their hearts are becoming more and more hardened. We need to give faith a chance, and put as much (if not more) effort into it as we do the other parts of our lives. We need to try to show and live our faith by living the Commandments. He talked about taking Commandments 6-10 (because those tend to be the ones that trip us up in our day-to-day lives (aside from killing, that is)) and turning them into positive statements, rather that what not to do.

Here's my take on it:

VI = Respect and preserve the covenant of marriage (yours and others'). Be loyal to your spouse: not just physically; but spiritually, mentally, and emotionally as well. Confide in each other, be honest with each other, provide for each other.

VII = Respect and preserve that which does not belong to you: the property, thoughts, emotions, innocence, work, and relationships of others.

VIII = Respect and preserve life, in all its forms. Life begins at conception, and should be treated as such. It is God's job to decide when life ends, not ours (that includes euthanasia and the death penalty as well). Take care of the environment. Nurture your relationship with God, the provider of ALL life.

IX = Be honest and trustworthy. Live an honest life and take responsibility for your actions. Speak the truth, and show yourself to be trustworthy in your actions.

X = Be thankful for what you have: a home to live in, a family to love, food to eat, clothes to wear, friends to confide in, and the list can go on and on. Count your blessings. Focus on what YOU have, not what others have. We all have our struggles and our crosses to bear...who our we to say that ours is any greater than anyone else's. Take nothing for granted.

Leukemia

So, I realize that there may be some of you that are just hearing about this. Sorry, that it was just thrown out there like that. When I was diagnosed, I let my friends that I kept in touch with know. I later started getting into myspace/facebook and getting back in touch with other friends. But I didn't think it would be cool to respond to the "Hey, what have you been up to?" questions with "Oh, not much...just a little leukemia." I didn't want to bombard people on those sites with that kind of stuff, so I try to keep it light.

For those that may have been shocked, and even for those that may already know...here's the story:

February 2006: I had just lost about 25 pounds. I was thinner than I was in high school. Mason was 1 year old. I noticed a mass in my abdomen, but I was pretty sure it was just my stomach that was actually able to feel for the first time. As the months went on, that mass was either getting bigger or it was moving. After doing some research online, I was confident that it wasn't anything serious...I didn't have any other symptoms. I just figured that after having 2 babies so close together my internal organs were just finding their way back to their original positions.

July 2006: I am pretty sure that this mass, whatever it was, was in fact getting bigger. But we were in between insurances, so I didn't let myself get to worried about it...I could wait until the end of August. I started getting really big, dark bruises. Now, I've always been an easy bruiser, but these were not like any others I've ever had. Of course, all I needed was some potassium or some other vitamin...no big deal.

August 25, 2006: The first day that our insurance goes into affect, I get myself to the doctor. Again, I'm not that worried. I get in at 3:30. I tell him about the mass and about my bruising. He starts asking me questions: "Have you been having headaches?"--yes, but I haven't had my eyes checked in 2 years...I probably just need glasses. "Have you been having night sweats?"--sure, but isn't everyone...it's been 104 degrees outside. "What about fatigue?"--of course...I'm a teacher and a mother of 2. By 4:00, he's testing my blood (so they can rule out anything serious). By 4:15, the hematologist/oncologist is telling me that I have leukemia. By 4:30, I am being admitted into the hospital to have my first bone marrow biopsy done.

It was fast...it was hard to take in...but that was that. I've always had a strange sense of peace about it. God really stepped in for me.

October 2008: My first oral chemotherapy medication did its part and worked for the first year and a half. When my body stopped responding, I switched to a new one. There are side effects (which you may hear me gripe about on another post). Some days are worse than others. But things could always be MUCH worse! The fact that I can't have kids while on these medications, however disappointing, is really a blessing in disguise. It has shown me that this is all part of God's plan. I don't know why this is happening now, but I think it explains why I had my kids so close together and so young. If my life had gone according to MY plan, I wouldn't have them.

I have been to MD Anderson twice. I get regular (every 3-6 months) bone marrow biopsies. And I will probably be on this medication for the rest of my life. I take things one day at a time. I know that if there comes a time when the medications don't cut it, my sister is a bone marrow match for me. I hope that it doesn't come to that, but if it does, I know that God will take care of us.

So, there it is...a long story kept long. Please don't be scared off by it. I'm still ME. Feel free to pretend you don't know, if that makes you more comfortable. Or feel free to ask me questions.

It's like when Deborah Winger went to New York to see her friend in "Terms of Endearment", and she said, "It's OK to talk about the cancer!"

How it all began...

So, when Kevin and I were dating, we thought couples that had pet names for each other were so silly. We started making fun of them by calling each other (very sarcastically) things like: Baby Cakes, Honey Cakes, Sweetie Cakes, etc. We did it so often that eventually (and unintentionally) it just got shortened to Cakes. And then it stuck!

Now it's even to the point that if he calls me Tracy, I have to respond very formally with "Yes, Kevin...what do you need, Kevin?" It just seems very odd for either of us to call each other anything other than Cakes. We have become the very thing we used to make fun of! Even his friends know me as Cakes!!

When I developed a love for baking and created a small (minuscule, actually) business, it was only natural that it be called Treats by Cakes. Now that I am trying this blogging thing, it seems fitting that it be called Thoughts by Cakes. Hopefully, this blog will be more successful than the baking business was.

So....who's ready for a little taste of life...from the perspective of Cakes?!?!?

....I know....you can hardly wait!!