Sometimes distance can be a good thing. A necessary thing. For instance, when your darling angel children are at each other's throats...put some distance between them...before they hurt each other...or you hurt them. Or when your precious lamb students are drawn to each other like moths to a flame and will talk and play as if you're not even in the room...put some distance between them...so they can actually maintain some understanding...and you can actually maintain some sanity. Or perhaps when your lovely job and your loving husband and children get to be just a little too much to handle...put some distance between them and you...so they can enjoy each other's company...and you can enjoy the company of good friends and a good drink.
But sometimes distance isn't really what you want. And even though it might be what's best, it doesn't mean you're going to be happy about it.
For those of you who don't know, Kevin left on Wednesday to start a new job six hours away for 6 months. No, he's not deployed for 3-18 months at a time without getting to come home. (I don't know how military wives do it, by the way...mad props to you!) But it is big for us. The distance is enough to make it too expensive to drive or have him fly more than every 2 weeks or so. The next time we get to see him will be the weekend of my twin nephews' birthday, which will make it 3 1/2 weeks for this first time.
In the 13 years that Kevin and I have been together, we've never been away from each other for more than a week. And that was in 1999 and 2000. Since then, it hasn't been more than 4 days. And as for the kids, they've been lucky enough that Kevin's never not been there. In fact, he even got to play stay-at-home-dad to each of them...at least for a little bit. So this is WAY out of our comfort zone.
The only reason we're doing this is for some more financial stability. In the last year, we have taken quite a hit between my change in insurance that resulted in a substantial pay cut and Kevin's unstable/irregular job at the Post Office. So we are hoping that since he'll be getting paid substantially more than he was, that we can get caught up, build up some savings, and have him learn skills that he can apply to jobs back here in this area. That is the goal. We are NOT looking to move.
It's only been 3 days, and for the most part it's been business as usual. I don't know that it will really start to hit us until next week, when it's been longer than it's ever been. But I've already noticed how much less I've laughed. And as most of you know, that's a big deal for me. In fact, I've had a whole blog post devoted to the importance I give laughter in my life...and the fact that Kevin is the primary source of it. So I'm pretty sure I'll be going through withdrawals soon.
I told the kids about the saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". They both said that it made sense. They both figured, "That it's like when you don't have pizza for a while, and you really start to think about how good it is. And then when you do have it, it's even yummier than you remember." Of course they would relate it to food! But then my sophisticated Hannah added, "Yeah, so maybe we'll appreciate each other more or something." Yeah...fingers crossed.
Or something.
"Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great." - Roger De Bussy-Rabutin
Saturday, September 1, 2012
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I love you all!!!! uncle Joel
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