Last year, I made a little blog post (here) about a change that was on the horizon. For those of you who read it, or just know me, I'm not a big fan of change. At all really. But after 7 years teaching 2nd grade, I thought I was ready for a little bit of change in my life (in my career, anyway). However, that change didn't end up happening.
But now, after 8 years of teaching 2nd grade, the change I thought was going to happen last year is finally happening. I'm going to be teaching 3rd grade this year! WOOHOO!
As much as I don't like change, I'm actually pretty excited about this. There are definite perks to this gig: I will only be teaching Math and Science (as opposed to math, science, reading, writing, and social studies), I will only have to plan 2 lessons a day, I get to work with my friend Katie again, and the kids will be older and more capable (at least slightly, right?).
That being said, there are some parts that I'm a bit less excited about: having 44 students (as opposed to 22) and thus 44 copies of each assignment/project/test to check, having 88+ parents/step-parents to worry about (and conference with), having to leave my 2nd grade teacher friends behind, and (of course) the STAAR test.
And considering all of those things, I'd say that the pro's outweigh the con's. And overall, I'm more excited than I am anxious.
However....
Some of you may remember that in the past I've mentioned that I have some inadequacy issues. That while logically I know that I am the bomb-diggity, I generally feel at least slightly inadequate in most areas of my life. (I know that there are far better wives, mothers, teachers, friends, sisters, and daughters than me out there in the world.)
So, you could say I've got some new girl jitters. I haven't been the new girl in 8 years. It's hard (particularly for a wallflower like me) to join a well-established group. And I just want my new team to like me. We had our first team meeting the other day, and they were nothing but welcoming, supportive, and kind. But my darn inadequate self couldn't shake the thought that: I'm going to be the flabbiest, most out of shape, most poorly dressed one in the group! I'm going to be "that fat unstylish girl". I know it's ridiculous. And it's ALL me...they did NOTHING to make me feel that way. It's just my own insecurities.
Some of you might also know that I'm not a big fan of asking for help. I love offering and giving help. But asking for someone else to help me? Not so much. Maybe it's pride, but really I just think that I don't want to burden anyone else. And in regards to my new team, I don't want to let them down. I know that I'm going to have to get over this and ask for help from time-to-time. But at the same time, I want to be able to hold my own and not be needy.
With all of my excitement and nervousness, along with the typical getting ready for school to start stress, I'm going to end with something positive that I might need to refer back to from time to time (which is why I got this for my desk area at school):
Ooooh, you made me laugh! Fat and unstylish? Bah! You're going to be great, and those fabulous girls on your new team are going to take great care of you! They work together really, really well, and I've never seen a hint of drama in huddles. You are going to love it!
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