In Case You Were Wondering...

WARNING! This post is not for the faint of heart. This post is for those of you that have been curious (maybe morbidly curious) about what a bone marrow biopsy involves. And after just having had a doozy of one today, I thought what better time than now to get into it.

First a little background info...
When I got my first one almost 4 years ago, I didn't know what to expect (and I think it was better that way). I had just gotten diagnosed with leukemia 30 minutes earlier, so I guess you could say I had a lot on my mind. But anyway, while it was a bit painful and quite uncomfortable, I think I was in too much of a shock to focus on that. All I really remember from it was feeling the rocking back and forth, the strange (but very quiet) sounds, and the mental image of a cork screw.

Now for the details...
Well, now I know what to expect each time...and it stresses me out. And I even have bad dreams for a few nights before. But anyhoo, back to the cork screw. Well, that's basically what it is! It makes perfect sense. They have to get into your bone, but they don't use a drill (I guess since this is a procedure that gets done over and over, a drill would leave far too big of a wound). So they use this tool that looks like a long and very thin cork screw. They numb the area (the back of your hip, right at the top of one of your butt cheeks) as much as they can, and then the Dr. starts twisting and screwing it in (hence the rocking back and forth I remember from my first time). As they go deeper, it becomes more painful (sometimes very sharp and sudden), and they stop and add more anesthetic. The sounds are the sounds of metal on bone, and you can't hear it as much externally as you can internally. Once they're in there, they take an even longer needle/syringe and send it down through the hollow center of the cork screw thing. They suck out a sample of marrow and remove the syringe. Then they insert another needle thing (which is best described as one of those things you see on the Sargento cheese commercials where they stick it in a wheel of cheese, twist it, and remove a cylindrical sample of the cheese) and they use that to remove a sample of the bone.

And as for today...
First, let me tell you about my Dr. He is a very kind middle-aged, Middle-Eastern man. Every time I see him, he asks about my parents whom he met maybe once, my sister and her twins, my brother who went to Afghanistan, my brother in the Navy (all of whom he's never met), and Kevin. He remembers those things very well and that is very comforting. However, he can't seem to remember saying the exact same things to me every time. For the first 3 years, every time I got a biopsy done, he would comment on my dense bones by saying (verbatim), "Wow, it must be that West Texas beef!"...every single time! Now, for the last year, the last 2 procedures I've had, we talk about Kevin Costner movies. It sounds completely random (and it is a little), but it all starts when he asks how Kevin is liking working for the post office. And then he says, "You know, Kevin Costner made that movie, The Postman..." And then he goes on and on about how weird and boring he thought it was, and so was Waterworld; but Dances With Wolves, JFK, and The Untouchables were great. Maybe he thinks he's taking my mind off of what he's doing...but he's not.

Once again, I digress. So we went throughout all of those conversations, was the biopsy itself. The numbing medication is never quite enough for my "dense West Texas" bones. I always have sharp, blinding, bursts of pain where he has to add more medication. The first couple of attempts were unsuccessful. There was apparently a lot of scarring on that area of bone which made the marrow very difficult to extract (that in and of itself was painful enough, but nothing I'm not used to). So he numbed a new spot and had more luck there. However, in order to do so, he had to climb onto a stool to get more leverage and use a larger/longer "cork screw". After he got in a little ways, I told him it was hurting quite a bit. He asked if I could just hang on, because he was almost there and it would be over soon if he didn't have to stop and get more anesthetic, so I said OK. So I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth, and tried to take deep breaths while he extracted a good sample of marrow (This, even on a good day, is the worst part. It's a painful, foreign sensation...like the opposite of a thick painful shot. You can actually feel it leaving your body.) A couple of tears came to my eyes, but I made it through. After that, they re-numbed for the removal of the bone sample, and that went off without a hitch.

So anyway, that's about it. I don't say all of this to complain at all...it is what it is, and I can take it. I don't say all this to get anyone to feel sorry for me, either...I'm very blessed, and I know that things can always be worse (and I'm thankful they're not). I just know that there are some people out there who have wondered and have never wanted to actually ask. So there it is. I'll be sore for a good 5 days, and I should hear something back in a week or two.

That's all for now...in case you were wondering!