How Can it Be?

It was 5:00 in the morning, and I was wide awake.  Kevin was awake, too.  Now that's really saying something, isn't it?  We were both nervous and excited.  We were both ready and completely unprepared at the same time.  But nonetheless, there we were, in the living room of our 2 bedroom duplex taking pictures of both our bellies before going to the hospital to have our first baby. 

That was 10 years ago. 10 years!  How can that possibly be??

Hannah was feisty from day 1.  I called my mom in tears within the first week, because I just couldn't get her to stop crying.  One of the first things Kevin told his family about her was, "I think we've got ourselves a bit of a crier".  If she wasn't nursing, or being held, the only way we found to get her to stop screaming was by having her in her bouncy chair...on vibrate...in the bathroom...with the exhaust fan on...and the faucet running on full blast.  Needless to say, we had some high water/electricity bills for a while.  But her chunky, round self sure was adorable!

Since that time she has had SO many moments of anger, meanness, sarcasm, and attitude.  But she has had EVEN MORE moments laughter, creativity, wit, fun, beauty, surprising athleticism, smiles, and unending love.  She has an unparalleled ability to drive me nuts and push every button that I have.  But she can also make me laugh and smile like nobody else.  She is simply the best little girl that I know!!!

But my little girl's not so little anymore.  She's had a whole decade of life on this earth.  And I'm both excited and absolutely terrified to see what the next decade will hold for her!  Fingers crossed that she doesn't drive me to alcoholism or the looney bin along the way!

Age 5 months

Age 10

 

Age 20 ???

 

I LOVE MY HANNAH!!

What a Week...

So much for a restful, relaxing, rejuvenating weekend to help myself get over a very long week.  But I always try to take the good with the bad, so here's a little of both for you:

~ This "Hey Girl" meme seems tailor-made for me, doesn't it?!  Maybe that's because I made it.  Yep, prepare yourselves.  Many of you will be receiving special messages from my boyfriend, Ryan as well!
~ I had my first official experience with the STAAR test.  For those of you who are around my age, are from Texas, and don't know, it's the most modern version of the TAAS test.  Texas's standardized test.  My third graders took the STAAR Math and STAAR reading tests on Tuesday and Wednesday.  While we told them to relax and not worry...just do their best and show off all of the great things they know...we were all incredibly stressed out.  They made for some very long and tense days.  And afterwards, I was exhausted! 
~ Hannah had her fourth grade versions of the math and reading STAAR tests, too.  She is not a good test taker, and as much as we try to boost her confidence and tell her not to worry, she has some pretty serious test anxiety.  It's better than it was last year, but we are still glad it's over!
~I had an interesting conversation with Mason Thursday morning as we were getting ready for school:

• Mason:  "Mommy, is it possible that someone can work really hard their whole life to get a bunch of really cool things, but then spend so much time working to get and keep those things that they never get to use and appreciate those things?"
• Me (slightly stunned by his wisdom):  "Yeah, buddy that's very possible.  In fact I think it probably happens a lot."
• Mason:  "Wow.  The ironing."
• Cute, right?  Ironing instead of irony?  I love that boy!

~ I,we the whole school district got the wonderful news that our insurance rates are going up again.  Rather than giving you a whole long rant, I will just reference my blog post about this same thing last year, and say that I should probably be flattered.  It's a pretty big complement that TRS thinks I'm talented enough to just pull an extra $200+ a month out of my butt.
~ I left my coffee at home on the kitchen counter Thursday morning. Maybe I was too distracted by Mason's deep thoughts, I don't know.  But whatever the reason, I was really cheesed off when I got to school!  Man, was I in a bad mood!
~ One of my students' moms (who just so happens to be one of my friends and former co-workers) brought me a Diet Cherry Limeade from Sonic when she brought her son to school Thursday morning.  Perked my mood right back up!
~Thursday evening I started getting a head-cold.  Great.  Just what I needed.
~ Friday, I had a ton of errands to run after school.  So on a rare day that we actually got to leave early, we had so much to do we still weren't going to get home until 6:30.  I was in a hurry to get there, because we were going to babysit the kids of some friends of ours.  The kids were tired after a long week at school and being dragged around all over kingdom come.  I was super annoyed at the kids for all of their incessant bickering.  We're almost home when Hannah realizes she left her backpack outside up at school.  So we drive by the school to get it, and thankfully, it was still there.  But not more than 20 seconds after I pull out and start driving home, Hannah screams.  I turn around to see her standing in the car and ants crawling all over her seat!  I huff and puff, pull the car over, throw things outside, and keep myself from getting mad at Hannah.  It's now past 6:30, and we're shaking out backpacks, sweeping ants off of the seats, picking them off of the carpets, and swatting them off Hannah's shorts on the side of the road.
~ We get home just in time on Friday for Kevin to get Mason to batting practice on time.  Whew!  (But I know, right?!  Who schedules practice for a Friday night?!)
~ Saturday, I'm still not feeling well, but we've got 10 full hours of First Communion meetings, softball tournaments, and baseball games to get to.  No rest for the weary.  The cleaning and laundry were somehow still there when we got home.
~ Sunday, we went to the Denton Arts and Jazz Festival.  It may be surprising, but in the almost 13 years that we've lived in Denton, we've never been.  And we've never really felt like we missed out on much.  But this year, we had to got to go for the first time.
~ Mason had one of his drawings on display at the Arts and Jazz Fest.  He was SUPER stoked, and it was kind of a big deal.  So we went to see it, and made an afternoon of it.  We spent a small fortune on activities for the kids and unhealthy food.  We had a nice time, but I don't think we need to go back next year.
~ After the shortest of naps this afternoon, I took Hannah to shop for her bedroom make-over.  She's turning 10 soon, and seeing as how she's not a little girl anymore, she didn't need to have a little girl's bedroom anymore.  Her new bedding is really quite cute.  She's growing up too fast.

Now, I'm just catching up on my blog and watching some LOST with Kevin.  He might not be Ryan Gossling, but he's pretty close, isn't he?

The Prodigal Son...

So the Gospel reading for yesterday was the Parable of the Prodigal Son.  We've all heard it before.  And I'm sure we've all struggled with it before.  I think we all initially identify with the older son; the one who stayed with his father, was loyal and hardworking.  We think about how unfair it is when the rebellious son comes home, and he receives all of the glory.  But then after we give it some thought, I think we all identify with the rebellious son.  As sinners, I think we should find it very comforting.  God is like that forgiving father.  He's loving us and waiting for us to repent and come back to him.  He's waiting with open arms to celebrate our return.

As this reading was taking place at church yesterday, I was thinking about my classroom.  I was thinking about those kids who just don't want to/can't seem to behave.  The ones you have to put on "behavior contracts" and basically bribe in order to act right.  They are ornery, obnoxious, and/or disrespectful a good portion of the time.  And when they finally make a good choice or stay on task, you better believe you celebrate it.  They get a big "thank you", a treat, a pat on the back, etc.  Just about anything to try and reinforce that behavior.  But what about those kids that are good all the time...just because it's what they're supposed to be doing?  They're always on task, they're always respectful, they just do what's right.  It's not fair.  As teachers, we do our best not to take these kids for granted.  We try to make sure they know how much they are appreciated.  But then, I guess that's life isn't it?  Frustrating and unfair at times, and full of opportunities to both forgive and be forgiven.

We all have our moments when we're like the loyal older son.  We all have our moments when we are like the rebellious son.  We should all just take comfort in the fact that no matter who we are or what we've done, we've got our Father who loves us.

Just some thoughts.

Patience and Perspective...

As I'm laying on the couch, trying to take a nap, my mind is racing.  I'm inundated with thoughts.  But luckily, I've been able to sort most of them into 2 main categories.  Neither topic, on its own, would be long enough for its own blog post.  So today, I'm combining them into one long, awesome, and somewhat deep post. 

 

 

Patience:



• Patience is a virtue.
• Good things come to those who wait.
• Dear Lord...Grant me the patience to endure my Blessings!
• Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish. ~John Quincy Adams
• Take it slow. It'll work itself out fine. All we need is just a little patience. ~Guns 'n' Roses
• If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? ~God (Morgan Freeman in Evan Almighty)

These are just a few of the sayings and quotes out there about patience. My favorites are the last two.
The Guns 'n' Roses one, primarily because it goes hand-in-hand with FAITH (yeah, yeah...Guns 'n' Roses is probably not the most spiritual group out there, but still...). There are some things we don't have control of. And for those, we must turn them over to God, be patient, and have faith. In fact, I just stumbled across a picture that goes right along with this:

And the Evan Almighty one reminds me that God works in mysterious ways. Your plan and your timing aren't necessarily (and usually aren't) the same as God's. It also reminds me to be careful what you wish for. I know I've got myself PLENTY of opportunities to be patient...I'm pretty sure that I don't need to pray for more. Heaven help me, if I do!


Perspective:

Life is truly all about perspective:

My dear brother-in-law, Joel, posted this on his facebook page the other day:

     "Have you noticed that many people have such a tendency to say things like, "can't Friday hurry up and get here" or "I wish this day was over" etc... I am certain I have made similar comments on occasion but it just seems to me you are wishing your life away. I think part of it is pressure from society to say those things. You know how your uncle's and such always would say, "don't ever get married...", even though they loved being married. It's almost like society wants us to be cynical so we follow that lead. My concern is it's almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy when you choose that attitude to speak over your life.
Life IS the journey, not a destination. As I get older I find this more and more to be true. It's figuring out how to be a better Christian (or person if you prefer) every day. It's fighting temptation and winning every once in a while. It's telling the devil to watch out and trusting in the power given by the spirit. It's about dealing with the strains and stress of life and learning from them so you don't have to repeat them next Monday. It is about making even one person's day better by a smile, a kind word or a chocolate covered strawberry.
I love life, always have and I know I am lucky for that. I screw up more than anyone I know and get myself into situations that only humility and honesty can get me out of. But I wake up every morning and make a choice on what my attitude toward life is going to be that day. Will I happen to life, or let life happen to me.
I know so many people just like this that take life by the horn and ride it until they get bucked off....then they just get back on. Speak life over yourself, your family and friends, and even perfect strangers. Make the days count...don't just count the days."

 

And my sister let me know about a friend of hers whose son is dying.  At this point he's been given days, or maybe only hours left.  Their story and the pictures I have seen just break my heart.  But they've also given me a healthy dose of perspective.  This was a particularly difficult and stressful week for me at school.  And on Friday, every time I caught myself wishing for the hours to speed up I thought about this woman who is cherishing these same hours with her son and wishing for more.  Every time I caught myself getting frustrated with my kids who were fighting, being rude, and annoying I thought about how incredibly blessed I am to have kids who are healthy enough to drive me nuts.  It makes me think of the St. Jude's ads: 

 

Maybe now, I can get some rest? 

 

Probably not.

Bob and Beth...

I've been thinking a lot about these two people lately.  About how amazing they must have been.  They raised 4 wonderful people that I am so privileged to have in my life.  They instilled in their children:  determination, generosity, integrity, and a sense of humor.  They modeled for their children what a successful, happy marriage looks like.

They are my mother-in-law and father-in-law.  I think about them often.  I wonder what they would have thought when Kevin brought me home for the first time.  I wonder what they would have said to me on our wedding day.  I wonder what they would think of how we are raising their grandchildren.  I wonder if I am making them proud...being the kind of wife they would have wanted for their son (their baby)...the kind of mother they would have wanted for their grand kids.

I imagine Bob and my dad hitting it off.  From the stories I've heard, they'd have some stories to share.  I picture Beth and my mom being great friends...cut from the same cloth.  I wonder.  I imagine.  I pray.

I know that by knowing and loving their children, I am knowing at least a little bit of them.  The unending kindness, understanding, and strength of their oldest daughter...the devotion, generosity, and dependability of their oldest son...the determination, resiliency, and gentle spirit of their youngest daughter...the integrity, commitment, and ingenuity (not to mention, rugged good looks) of their youngest son.

These wonderful traits had to come from somewhere, right? 

So here's to Bob and Beth Prickett.  I thank you, I think of you, and I pray for you often.

Looking Ahead...

 

This is going to be a fairly short blog post, but I just couldn't let a New Year's go by without posting something.  And as this new year begins, I find myself looking forward.  You know how when you go to a movie, you look forward to the previews almost as much as you do the actual movie?  Well, think of 2013 as the "movie", and this post a "preview".  2013 is looking to be a big year in several ways:

~ Babies

• I will get regular baby-time with my bestie's new baby, Quinn. 
• My little brother and his wife are expecting their first child in June.
• My sister and her husband are expecting their third child in August.

             **SO EXCITED!!!!

~ Birthdays

• My sweet Hannah is turning 10...a whole decade old! 
• Several friends of ours are turning 30.

                   
~ Anniversaries

• My parents' 40th wedding anniversary is in December. (amazing, right?)
• August 28 will be the 7th anniversary of my leukemia diagnosis. (I know 7 years seems like a weird landmark, but I'll explain in a blog later.)
• August will also begin my 10th year of teaching.

~ Faith

• Mason will have his First Communion in May.
• My new nieces/nephews will be getting baptised. 

I'm sure many there are other landmark events that I am overlooking, but we'll get to them in good time.  I mean, how good would a preview be if it gave away all of the best parts?!

All that being said, you will notice that none of those things have anything to do with resolutions.  As I've blogged about before, I'm not big on making resolutions, because there's nothing about a new year that makes my goals any different than they are the rest of the year.  And...I'm no fool:

"He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool."   – F.M. Knowles,

 

 

 

 

Lovin' From the Oven...

For one December weekend every year, my kitchen looks something like this:

 

 

For one December weekend every year, I do almost nothing but bake.  And what comes from this weekend is literally "lovin' from the oven".  Baking is an expression of me.  It's an expression of my joy for life, my love for the people in my life, and the gratitude I have for the fact that I have people in my life to bake for.

 

This year, I went a little overboard.  I didn't want to cut anything from my gift boxes, but I wanted to add something new to the mix.  So my ordinary gift boxes weren't quite big enough this year.  I had to upgrade.  This year I made: 

      * 8 dozen butterscotch oatmeal cookies

      * 8 dozen snickerdoodles

      * 6 dozen candy cane snowballs

      * 5 dozen nutmeg logs

      * 5 dozen salted toffee chocolate squares

      * 8 dozen individually wrapped chocolate pecan caramels

      * 2 batches of caramel Crispix

      * 2 batches of peppermint popcorn

      * 2 batches of muddy buddies (puppy chow)

 

I baked from the moment I got home that Friday until Sunday night around 9:00.  I didn't stop for much (I did loads of laundry between batches, I washed dishes countless times, I monitored the kids' versions of "clean rooms", we went out to eat and had family time Saturday night, and we went to church Sunday morning).  But aside from those moments, it was all baking-all the time...and I loved it!  The kids helped with a few things, but they don't seem to enjoy helping as much as I did when I was a kid. They love the end result, but not so much the process. 

 

Sometimes you have those "bad baking days", where nothing you try quite works out.  But this year I did not have any of those days...everything worked out wonderfully.  I made the best two batches of Caramel Crispix that I've made in years, I put a little too much butter into the snickerdoodles (which just made them better), and I made 1 1/2 times the recipe for the nutmeg log frosting (which, again, just made them better)! 

 

Sometimes I feel bad when I bake for people.  I feel like maybe I'm forcing my treats upon them.  I don't ever want my stuff to be a burden (you know..."Great.  Now what am I going to do with all this...on top of what I make, and what I get from my students, and what I get when I get together with my family).  But this year, I tried not to focus on that.  I figured that whether people eat what I make, give it to someone else, or even throw it away...at least they would know that I was thinking of them.  As I was planning and baking, they were in my thoughts.  I was thinking of the kind, helpful things they've done for me and/or my family.  I was thinking of how hard they work and how much they deserve to treat themselves.  I was thinking of how blessed I am to have them in my life.  And as I was thinking of them, I was putting those thoughts, that love, that thankfulness right into everything that I was making.

 

So you could say that the goodies weren't even the real gift.  The real gift was in the thoughts, prayers, and warm wishes.  After all...it's the thought that counts, right?

 

And for those of you who didn't get to reap the benefits of my baking, please know that as I type this, I am thinking of you and being thankful for you.  May you all get a little lovin' from someone else's oven this Christmas.