And the Worst Mother of the Year Award Goes To...

Ever since last year Hannah has been asking questions:  questions about the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Clause.  These questions, I have been casually avoiding, skirting around, and/or very vaguely answering. 

Well today Bobby-Lou (our elf on the shelf) returned.  She was in a coffee cup filled with marshmallows, surrounded by marshmallow forts and two powdered-donut snowmen she had made for the kids.  She had a lovely rhyming letter that she had written to Hannah and Mason to remind them of the rules:  each night she will fly back to the North Pole to tell Santa all about what they've been up to, they cannot touch her (or her magic will rub off), and she will return by the time they wake up.  Last year, they woke up to Bobby-Lou in various settings:  sitting on top of the star on our tree, zip-lining down from our ceiling fan to the bookshelves, having a play "date" with Ken, etc.

So this morning, after oohing and ahhing over Bobby-Lou's return Hannah said, "Mommy, are you sure you don't just hide Bobby-Lou all year, bring her back in December, and move her around each night?"

"Yep, she knows," I thought.  I didn't want to lie to her, and there wasn't much of a way for me to avoid her direct question.  So, we had a conversation.  I basically gave my own version of this letter I came across online a while ago:

• Dear Lucy,
  Thank you for your letter. You asked a very good question: “Are you Santa?”
  I know you’ve wanted the answer to this question for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.
  The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.
  I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her. (And yes, Daddy helps, too.)
  I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.
  This won’t make you Santa, though.
  Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.
  It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.
  Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.
  With full hearts, people like Daddy and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.
  So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.
  I love you and I always will.
  Mama

She didn't take it as well as I was hoping.  To put it mildly, she looked HEARTBROKEN.  She was in tears and was shaking her head.  She sobbed, "So, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny?  They're not real, either?"

When I asked her, "Didn't you really already know?  Or at least suspect?"  She said, "Yeah.  But I don't think I was really ready to know for sure."

**Insert.  Dagger.  Into.  Heart.  Now.**

**I.  Am.  The.  Worst.**

**I broke my daughter's heart, and stomped all over her innocence.  I am the destroyer of all things good and pure and magical in the world.**

I tried to cheer her up by telling her that now that she is on Santa's team, she gets to help with all of the sneaky creative fun!  But I think that just bummed her out even more.  She just loved having it all suspiciously magically done when she woke up.

After being asked to just "leave her alone for a little bit", and after shedding many of my own tears, I figure it is time to officially accept my crown.

Call Me a Fuddy-Duddy...

I was raised by parents who took movie ratings seriously.  Or at least kind-of seriously.  I knew that if it was PG-13, I wasn't allowed to watch it until I was 13 (unless my parents made an exception for some reason).  And I knew that if it was R, well, I had some waiting to do.  And really, I was OK with that.

I remember being able to watch most of a movie, but not certain parts/scenes (the face melting in Raiders of the Lost Ark, the abortion scene in Dirty Dancing, etc.)  But there were enough exceptions made that I didn't really feel like I was missing out on too much: Weird Science, Secret of My Success, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Bird on a Wire, Dances With Wolves, Robin Hood...all PG-13 movies that I loved and was allowed to see before I was 13.  And I know there were others, too.  Speed, Blown Away, Outbreak, A Time to Kill...all awesome R rated movies that I was able to see before I was technically "old enough", too.

Sure, being restricted meant that sometimes I actually told friends, "No.  My parents won't let me watch that movie."  But believe it or not, it was never really a big deal.  And sure, that meant that when I was watching a movie, I found myself counting "f words" and other objectionable things so I could set limits for myself.  Maybe that made me a goodie-two-shoes, but so be it.  (And for the record...I'm pretty sure that was not the only thing that made me a goodie-two-shoes.)

That being said, I've carried on those same practices of my parents into my own parenting.  So, call me a fuddy-duddy, but I tend not to let my kids watch PG-13 movies.  Unless I've seen it and have either deemed it "OK" or of a high enough awesomeness level to outweigh the objectionable qualities.  But for the most part, I figure they're rated PG-13 for a reason. 

And for the most part, I stick to it.  There are movies that I've let them watch all but 5 minutes of, because there's a scene that I don't think they should see (when Anakin gets burned/melted on the lava planet in Episode 3, when Professor Lupin turns into a werewolf in Prisoner of Azkaban, etc.).  Again, call me a fuddy-duddy, but I think they have plenty of time in life to see/hear scary, vulgar, inappropriate, gory things...why shouldn't I protect them from as much of it as I can...while I can?  Now, I'm not saying we should totally shelter them and keep them on a leash.  I say "cut the cord"...helicopter parents aren't doing their kids any favors!  However, we do still have a job to do.

And now, my kids are at an age where they're spending more time at friends' houses, having sleep overs and the like.  And trust me, I know this is only the beginning.  But they're already coming home having watched movies that I wouldn't have let them watch.  Nothing awful, still only PG-13, but I imagine it won't be long before R rated movies come into play.  My kids are good kids.  They have good friends with good parents.  But, it's happening nonetheless.  I can talk with the parents and see if maybe they can text me first.  I can talk with Hannah and Mason about expectations for trustworthiness and honesty, but I guess that's about it, isn't it?  I don't think I'm being unreasonable, though.  And I think it extends to TV shows and video games as well.  At school, I hear all the time about the shows kids are watching and the games their playing, and I just don't get it.  I just want to do everything I can to keep my kids innocent (not that they're angels) as long as possible.

Call me naïve.  Call me strict.  Call me a fuddy-duddy.  So be it.

Memories of Grandma...

Tonight, I am paying tribute to Elaine Roth.  My dad's mom.  My grandma.  She passed away today.  And while I know this blog will fall terribly short of doing her justice, I am just going to share some of what's been on my mind.

When I was a kid, we went to South Dakota several times a year.  We would spend time visiting my mom's side of the family (which I think I will blog about another time), and then we would spend time visiting dad's side.  When we were with the Roth's, we were at Grandma's house.  The farm.  I have so many great childhood memories of that place:

• I got to ride my first horse (with a very cute ranch hand):
  
 
• She made the BEST Root Beer floats.  She would make them for all of us, and she mixed them.  By hand.  And even though Mom would do everything the same way when we got back to Texas, there was always just something special about Grandma's. 
• Hanging out with the cousins.  And there were ALOT of therm.
  

• We would play outside and run around the farm.  We would pick cherries.  We would play in the creepy basement.  We would play hide and seek and tag.  We would play "Bloody Murder".  And we would LAUGH!!
• We would have to get to say the rosary together as a family.  And while we always feared making a mistake in front of her, and we always wondered what new prayer she would add, we always knew where she stood.  She was a woman of great faith, and she modeled that for us every day.
• When we got older we didn't visit as often, and we didn't run around playing games.  But we would drive 3 wheelers and 4 wheelers.  We would talk and tell stories.  And we would LAUGH!!
• When we became "grown-ups" we had less and less opportunities to visit.  But she came to our weddings (though she wasn't in good enough health to make it to Josh's).
  
• The last time I got to see her was the summer of 2010.  We had a family reunion, and almost everyone was there.  We had SO much fun!!  And while it had been YEARS since I had seen most of them, it was as if no time had gone by at all.  And we had the chance to take a 4-generation picture.  The only picture I have of Grandma with both kids.
  

Grandma I love you, I miss you, and I am proud to be your granddaughter.

 



7 Years...

Happy Anniversary to Me!!

No, it hasn't been 7 years since I got married.  Not 7 years since our first date, first kiss, first baby, or anything else like that.  Not even 7 years since I started teaching.  But it HAS been 7 years since I found out that I had leukemia.  And, no, it's not even 7 years since I've been in remission.  Because, technically, I'm still not.  But I suppose I'm about as close as I'm going to get...until a new treatment comes around.

So, you might ask, "Why in the world are you celebrating having leukemia for 7 years?!"  Why celebrate more bone marrow aspirations than I can remember (though I've been lucky enough not to need one for the last year and a half)?  Why celebrate having to take an oral chemotherapy pill everyday that gives me side effects ranging from slight hair thinning and fairly strong fatigue to abdominal cramping and severe bone/muscle pain?  Why celebrate the reason I cannot have more kids? 

Well, the reason is this:  Because after living with leukemia for 7 years, I am just that.  Living.

My type of leukemia, Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML), is not a particularly aggressive form of leukemia.  We caught it early enough, and I was lucky enough, that it was quite treatable.  But the doctors told me not long after I was diagnosed, that if it were to be left undiagnosed and untreated, it would run its course in 7 years.  I would only have 7 years left to be with my family.  7 years left to work...to play..to laugh...to love.

So, here I am 7 years later:  working, playing, laughing, loving...and healthy (relatively speaking).  So, yes.  Today, I am celebrating.  I am celebrating the doctors and the medical treatment that have gotten me this far.  I am celebrating those who have gone before me, who might not be here today.  I am celebrating the fact that, while it could be so much worse, it isn't. 

I celebrate, because I am blessed.  Happy Anniversary to Me.

Babies...

We all know that I've got (and have had for quite some time) a bad case of Baby Fever.  And surprisingly, no amount of cowbell has done the trick.  Well, this summer I have been repeatedly blessed with opportunities to get my baby fix.  I've got some lovely enablers in my life...and I am grateful!

Firstly, I have gotten to spend a fair amount of time with my bestie's baby, Quinn.  She was born in December, so I've had the pleasure of getting to hold her and hug her and play with her through various stages of baby-hood.  But it's been 3 weeks, and I'm going through withdrawals.  I mean, look at this sweet face!

But that's OK.  Luckily, several of the weekends that I haven't been able to spend with Quinn, I've been able to spend with my new nephews.

My sweet Jackson (my baby brother's baby) was born in June.  I wasn't able to get down there to meet the little guy until the end of July, though.  And let me tell you.  It was worth the wait.  He was just precious!  And you should all be impressed by my restraint.  I only flooded facebook with, like, 20 something pictures.  I thought that was pretty good!  Now he's over 2 months old, and he's already changed SO much!  I love his sweet crooked smile.  He just melts my heart!!

My sweet Noah (my older sister's baby) was born the day after I got back from visiting Jackson at the very end of July.  Since we had just gotten back from a weekend trip, we had to wait a little bit before getting to meet this little guy, too.  But we were lucky enough to not have to wait too long.  We got to meet him and hold him and kiss him on day 10!  He was just so little and so perfect!  I can already tell he just loves his Aunt Tracy SO much!!  I just love him to pieces!

And this weekend was the piece de resistance.  I got to be with BOTH Jackson and Noah.  Together.  For a whole weekend!!  They both got baptized on today, and I was absolutely thrilled!  While my mind has been racing with worries and anxieties about school starting on Monday (TOMORROW!), these boys have been making my heart sing with joy.  I am blessed to be their aunt.  I am blessed to be their godmother.  I am just plain blessed!

End of Summer...

As we are approaching the final days of summer, I have mixed emotions.  While I am SO sad to see summer end, I am SO ready for a break from my awesome kids.  (Albeit, I'll be trading days of my own obnoxious wonderful kids for days of other people's entitled amazing kids...but that's another story.)  My kids also have some mixed emotions going on.  This last week, they have been fluctuating somewhere between completely and totally bored to...wanting to kill each other.

Today was a perfect storm of those two feelings.  I had to resort to drastic measures:  toilet paper and bubbles.  Toilet paper?  Hmm...down to my last 4 rolls.  That's OK, I'll go to the store tomorrow.  Bubbles?  Hmm...don't actually have any.  That's OK, I've got dish soap, kitchen utensils, straws, and duct-tape.  Throw in a specially created playlist of the kids favorite jams (from Taylor Swift and B.O.B. to Aerosmith and the Beastie Boys), and the end result was 5...that's right...5 hours of argument and gripe free fun.  Take a look:

TP Bowling

TP Fight/Dance Party

...all cleaned up quickly in order to do...

TP Mummies
(which, of course, required one of them to be still and quiet for a good 10 minutes while the other one quietly concentrated on getting the broken, wrinkled TP to stay put)

...also quickly picked up so they could go outside for...

Homemade Bubbles

 ...and...

 Water-hose Fun
(AKA...do not come back into this house until that soapy mess is cleaned up)

Whew!  I did good.  We're all cleaned up, back inside, and what do I hear?  "Now, what can we do?!"

SHEESH!!!

Six Degrees...

We've all heard of the "Six Degrees of Separation":  that every person on earth is connected to every other person on earth through six connections or less.  This could be all the more true in this very modern social media connected world we live in.  With all its vastness, it is indeed "a small world after all". 

I'm sure we've all also heard of the slightly less deep and thought provoking "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon".  My sister used to LOVE this game.  And for those who may not know, it literally is a board game:

But even without the actual board game (which we did have at home, by the way), it was a fun way for us to waste spend some time.  With my sisters vast knowledge of movies and actors, she could connect most people pretty quickly.  I got pretty decent at it, myself, but she could either do it faster or in less connections than I could.  (That's OK, though.  I just added it to the ever growing list of things she could do better than me.  But I digress.)  And this, of course, while not before internet was way before internet at our house.  Shoot, we didn't even have a computer.  But if she ever got stumped, we would just drive on down to Blockbuster.  They had this really great reference book there where you could look up an actor to see all of the movies they had been in, or look up a movie to see all of the actors who were in it.  So with a few flips of the pages (which would now be clicks of a mouse), she had her connection!

Well now, I think I might tell you about something that maybe you haven't actually heard.  Surely I'm not the only one who didn't know about this.  I know what you're thinking:  "Of course you're not, but don't call me Shirley."  OK, so maybe that's not what you were thinking, but it should have been.  And again, I digress.  What I'm going to tell you about is a way to find these Kevin Bacon connections with a lot less mouse clicks.  You can go to Google, and in the search window you type any celebrity's name followed by the words "bacon number".  For example, if you type "Charlie Chaplin bacon number" you will very quickly find out that he is connected to Kevin Bacon in 2 steps.  So his "bacon number" is 2.  Now, yes, this might take the fun out of the game, but I still think it's pretty cool. 

Kevin Bacon seems to be a pretty good sport about this whole thing (while you're welcome to watch to whole clip, the part I'm referencing doesn't start until minute 1:30...but I suggest starting at minute 1:17 if you enjoy a good pun as much as I do):

He has also used this idea to springboard some philanthropy.  His website, www.sixdegrees.org, is a way to make charitable donations.  But what I think is particularly cool are the "good cards".  These are basically gift cards for charity.  We've heard about people giving gifts that say something to the effect of "a donation was given in your name to such-and-such-foundation".  And that's great, but I suppose you always run the risk of that person not necessarily wanting their name associated with a particular foundation.  So maybe a better way of giving a gift of a charitable donation on behalf of someone would be to give one of these "good cards".  These cards are basically like a visa gift card, in that you are not limited to one specific place to spend them...but it does have to be spent in a charitable donation.  You just go to the six degrees website, and you can choose from over a million charities to give the money to.  I think that's pretty cool.  Here's a little video that explains a bit about the site, if you're so inclined.  It's a little long (16ish minutes), but I didn't mind watching it.

While it used to be a challenge to get some people connected to him in less than 6 steps, now you can have the challenge of using Google to find someone who's bacon number is higher than 3.  It's harder than you might think.  Now, GO!

25 Random Things, Part 7...

1. Hello.  My name is Tracy, and I am an addict. I am addicted to chap stick.  I need it.  I want it.  If I could only bring a small number of items with me to be stranded on a deserted island, chap stick would be one of those things.
2. I have a serious love/hate relationship with summer.
3. A childhood friend of mine who moved away before 3rd grade just found me on facebook through a mutual friend...my prom date.  How crazy is that?  Small world, huh?
4. I've thought A LOT about working out this summer.  It's the thought that counts, right?!
5. Sometimes I think about all of my fun memories and have a hard time believing that the best is yet to come.  But I believe it anyway.
6. One of my favorite commercials of all time is the Orbitz chewing gum commercial where the one girl calls the other one a "lint licker!".  It just makes me laugh.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, Google it...it's great.
7. I love coffee.  And yes, I know this is in direct contradiction of my 2nd "25 Random Thoughts" post in which I said it was gross.  But alas, I have seen the error of my ways!  It took some time, but I've come around.
8. My brother-in-law, Joel, just might be the most generous person I've ever known.  Just thought everyone should know that.
9. Just like I edit myself when I'm singing songs with curse words (I know, I know...goodie-two-shoes!), I try to skip past them when I read them in books.  They just seem that much worse if they were to come out of my own mouth or my own voice in my head. 
10. My twin nephews are so much fun!  And they make me feel so loved.  I mean, how can you resist a sweet 4-year old, "I SOOOO love you, Aunt Tracy"?!?!?
11. I started watching Dexter during its 4th season and was able to get caught up via Kevin and certain flash-backs/references on the show.  So how is it that even though I basically know how things turn out and end up, I'm still finding the first few seasons (finally going back and watching them) so suspenseful?
12. We watched  Back to the Future with Hannah the other day.  It was so much fun to watch her watch it.  She REALLY got it!  She was all caught up in it.  It was pure awesomeness!
13. For a movie that was rated PG, Back to the Future sure had a lot of G.D.'s and J.C.'s in it.  How did I not notice that before?!
14. This parenting business is hard work. 
15. I think of my sister every time I hear "Kiss From a Rose" by Seal, because it reminds me of going to see Batman Forever with her.  We then came home, and did a pretty awesome and accurate reenactment of the movie (complete with awesome background music) for our mom. 
16. I think of my older brother every time I hear "Enter Sandman" by Metallica, because he could sing a spot-on rendition of that song (complete with creepy "Now I lay me" voice).  And I'm pretty sure that I need to give him at least partial credit for my love of certain metal/hard rock songs/bands.
17. I think of my little brother every time I hear "The Joker" by Steve Miller Band, because it reminds me of the short time period when he lived with us in our apartment in Lewisville.  Hannah was almost 1, and he came with us to the pool.  That song was playing, and we had the best time just singing loud and proud and silly while splashing with Hannah.
18. I think of my old BFF from third grade (who I'm still friends with now) and her mom every time I shake a bottle of mustard, because I did that once at their house and didn't realize the cap wasn't on.  So I ended up flicking mustard on their ceiling!
19. This is by far the laziest summer the kids and I have ever had.  And my guilt about that is just barely outweighed by our delight.
20. They say opposites attract, right?  Maybe that's how a "passive aggressive, mind-your-own-business, keep-your-mouth-shut" person like me ended up with an "instigating, pot-stirring, button-pushing" guy like Cakes.
21. I'm SO excited to meet my baby brother's baby boy this weekend!!
22. I stumbled across this question while online the other day, and it made me chuckle, "Why are the British always talking about pimps and Cheerios?"
23. I think that right along in the ranks with Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster should be The Baker's Dozen.  In all of the dozens of doughnuts, cupcakes, and cookies I've bought, there has never been an extra. 
24. "I believe in pink.  I believe that laughter is the best calorie burner.  I believe in kissing...kissing a lot.  I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.  I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.  I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~ Audrey Hepburn. 
25. I LOVE being a parent to Hannah and Mason...and parenting with Kevin.  I couldn't ask for anything more!

History...

I have always loved history.  Now, this doesn't mean I "know" history.  But I do enjoy it.  Some of my favorite teachers were history teachers.  Case in point:  Mike Thomesen.  He was my World History and AP European History teacher in High School.  He was a favorite of just about anyone who was lucky enough to be in his class.  He fostered a love not only of history, but also Monty Python; specifically, MP and the Holy Grail, which is of course, historically accurate.

My love of history has continued to grow and evolve over the years.  And as music has played an important role in my life, it has also been a big part of our human history.  Which brings me to some very important "historical documents".  Some of these relics may be older or more famous than others, but I urge you (even if you've already seen them) to watch them again to further your own historical appreciation:

History (evolution) of Dance:

History of Rap part 1: (excuse the poor quality of video here...I guess that's what happens when artifacts aren't properly cared for)

History of Rap part 2:

History of Rap part 3:

 

History of Rap part 4:

History of TV Theme Songs: (I know...music, history, AND tv!!)

History of Music:  (a bit less awesome, but kind-of-fun nonetheless)

Just a fun little blog today, but I hope you enjoyed the little history lesson!!

11...

I've never really had a lucky number before.  I've never really had a favorite number, either.  And for the last 14 years, if I was asked I would have said 17.  Not because it really brought me any luck or anything, but that's how old I was when I met Kevin.  (And apparently that number has some significance for Tim McGraw, too...I mean have you ever noticed how many of his songs involve the number 17??...it's a lot.)

And even now, as I write this I still wouldn't say that I have a lucky number.  But there is a number that I seem to be drawn to.  The number 11.  For the last year or so, I have been seeing the number 11...repeatedly...everywhere...even in multiples.

It started out with the time, 11:11.  It seemed that every other time I looked at a digital clock, it was 11:11.  At first, I didn't really think much of it.  It was just my internal clock responding to my daily schedule/habits.  I would take my class to lunch at 11:10, and when I was on my way back to my room I would look at the digital clock in the hallway and low-and-behold, it was 11:11.  Then I would go to bed around 11:00ish each night, it would always take me a while to go to sleep, and the last time I looked at my alarm clock it would be 11:11. 

But then I started seeing the multiples of 11 over and over again, too. 11 x 3 = 33 (3:33), 11 x 5 = 55 (5:55), etc.  Like ALL the time!  Then one morning while I was on my way to school, I heard a little something on the radio about how seeing the same number(s) over and over is a sign that the spirit world is trying to tell you something.  I don't know.  It seemed like a load of hooey to me, but it peaked my interest.  So I did some looking online, and sure enough, according to numerology (I know, I know...super sound scientific reasoning) people who experience the 11 phenomena are more "in-tune with the universe".  It is a "wake-up call from the universe".  A "call to action" of some sort.  Again, a lot of hogwash!

Nonetheless, these numbers got all the more prevalent.  I told my mom about it a couple of months ago when she came to visit.  After having that conversation with me, she noticed it herself.  She did some looking and found a website with an article by Uri Gellar.  He had a less "mumbo-jumbo" take on it:  "When I see the number 1111 I pray for sick children and world peace, the prayer takes a moment but it's very powerful.  I believe that people who have constant contact with the 1111 phenomena have some type of a positive mission to accomplish. It is still a mystery to me what it is that we all have to do or why are we all being gathered and connected together, but it is very real and tangible, I feel that it is immensely positive, almost like there is a thinking entity sending us these physical and visual signs from the universe. In me, it activates the power of prayer, love and determination to some how help the world."

Would you believe that when I checked my email that day, the message my mom had sent was the 11th of 11 new messages in my inbox?!  11/11.  I really liked Uri Gellar's take on it.  So now every time I see 1111 or any of its variations, I say a quick prayer.  And considering that I come across this "phenomena" quite frequently these days (1111.88 is my new mortgage payment, the total on a receipt, Kevin had his 11th Fathers' Day the day after our 11th anniversary, 4:44, 11:11, etc.), I'm doing a lot of praying.  Even if it's all just a bunch of coincidences, what can it hurt?  More prayer is always a good thing, right?!

So I encourage you to do the same.  If you ever come across these numbers, rather than making a wish, say a little prayer.  It just might do somebody some good.

How Can it Be?

It was 5:00 in the morning, and I was wide awake.  Kevin was awake, too.  Now that's really saying something, isn't it?  We were both nervous and excited.  We were both ready and completely unprepared at the same time.  But nonetheless, there we were, in the living room of our 2 bedroom duplex taking pictures of both our bellies before going to the hospital to have our first baby. 

That was 10 years ago. 10 years!  How can that possibly be??

Hannah was feisty from day 1.  I called my mom in tears within the first week, because I just couldn't get her to stop crying.  One of the first things Kevin told his family about her was, "I think we've got ourselves a bit of a crier".  If she wasn't nursing, or being held, the only way we found to get her to stop screaming was by having her in her bouncy chair...on vibrate...in the bathroom...with the exhaust fan on...and the faucet running on full blast.  Needless to say, we had some high water/electricity bills for a while.  But her chunky, round self sure was adorable!

Since that time she has had SO many moments of anger, meanness, sarcasm, and attitude.  But she has had EVEN MORE moments laughter, creativity, wit, fun, beauty, surprising athleticism, smiles, and unending love.  She has an unparalleled ability to drive me nuts and push every button that I have.  But she can also make me laugh and smile like nobody else.  She is simply the best little girl that I know!!!

But my little girl's not so little anymore.  She's had a whole decade of life on this earth.  And I'm both excited and absolutely terrified to see what the next decade will hold for her!  Fingers crossed that she doesn't drive me to alcoholism or the looney bin along the way!

Age 5 months

Age 10

 

Age 20 ???

 

I LOVE MY HANNAH!!

What a Week...

So much for a restful, relaxing, rejuvenating weekend to help myself get over a very long week.  But I always try to take the good with the bad, so here's a little of both for you:

~ This "Hey Girl" meme seems tailor-made for me, doesn't it?!  Maybe that's because I made it.  Yep, prepare yourselves.  Many of you will be receiving special messages from my boyfriend, Ryan as well!
~ I had my first official experience with the STAAR test.  For those of you who are around my age, are from Texas, and don't know, it's the most modern version of the TAAS test.  Texas's standardized test.  My third graders took the STAAR Math and STAAR reading tests on Tuesday and Wednesday.  While we told them to relax and not worry...just do their best and show off all of the great things they know...we were all incredibly stressed out.  They made for some very long and tense days.  And afterwards, I was exhausted! 
~ Hannah had her fourth grade versions of the math and reading STAAR tests, too.  She is not a good test taker, and as much as we try to boost her confidence and tell her not to worry, she has some pretty serious test anxiety.  It's better than it was last year, but we are still glad it's over!
~I had an interesting conversation with Mason Thursday morning as we were getting ready for school:

• Mason:  "Mommy, is it possible that someone can work really hard their whole life to get a bunch of really cool things, but then spend so much time working to get and keep those things that they never get to use and appreciate those things?"
• Me (slightly stunned by his wisdom):  "Yeah, buddy that's very possible.  In fact I think it probably happens a lot."
• Mason:  "Wow.  The ironing."
• Cute, right?  Ironing instead of irony?  I love that boy!

~ I,we the whole school district got the wonderful news that our insurance rates are going up again.  Rather than giving you a whole long rant, I will just reference my blog post about this same thing last year, and say that I should probably be flattered.  It's a pretty big complement that TRS thinks I'm talented enough to just pull an extra $200+ a month out of my butt.
~ I left my coffee at home on the kitchen counter Thursday morning. Maybe I was too distracted by Mason's deep thoughts, I don't know.  But whatever the reason, I was really cheesed off when I got to school!  Man, was I in a bad mood!
~ One of my students' moms (who just so happens to be one of my friends and former co-workers) brought me a Diet Cherry Limeade from Sonic when she brought her son to school Thursday morning.  Perked my mood right back up!
~Thursday evening I started getting a head-cold.  Great.  Just what I needed.
~ Friday, I had a ton of errands to run after school.  So on a rare day that we actually got to leave early, we had so much to do we still weren't going to get home until 6:30.  I was in a hurry to get there, because we were going to babysit the kids of some friends of ours.  The kids were tired after a long week at school and being dragged around all over kingdom come.  I was super annoyed at the kids for all of their incessant bickering.  We're almost home when Hannah realizes she left her backpack outside up at school.  So we drive by the school to get it, and thankfully, it was still there.  But not more than 20 seconds after I pull out and start driving home, Hannah screams.  I turn around to see her standing in the car and ants crawling all over her seat!  I huff and puff, pull the car over, throw things outside, and keep myself from getting mad at Hannah.  It's now past 6:30, and we're shaking out backpacks, sweeping ants off of the seats, picking them off of the carpets, and swatting them off Hannah's shorts on the side of the road.
~ We get home just in time on Friday for Kevin to get Mason to batting practice on time.  Whew!  (But I know, right?!  Who schedules practice for a Friday night?!)
~ Saturday, I'm still not feeling well, but we've got 10 full hours of First Communion meetings, softball tournaments, and baseball games to get to.  No rest for the weary.  The cleaning and laundry were somehow still there when we got home.
~ Sunday, we went to the Denton Arts and Jazz Festival.  It may be surprising, but in the almost 13 years that we've lived in Denton, we've never been.  And we've never really felt like we missed out on much.  But this year, we had to got to go for the first time.
~ Mason had one of his drawings on display at the Arts and Jazz Fest.  He was SUPER stoked, and it was kind of a big deal.  So we went to see it, and made an afternoon of it.  We spent a small fortune on activities for the kids and unhealthy food.  We had a nice time, but I don't think we need to go back next year.
~ After the shortest of naps this afternoon, I took Hannah to shop for her bedroom make-over.  She's turning 10 soon, and seeing as how she's not a little girl anymore, she didn't need to have a little girl's bedroom anymore.  Her new bedding is really quite cute.  She's growing up too fast.

Now, I'm just catching up on my blog and watching some LOST with Kevin.  He might not be Ryan Gossling, but he's pretty close, isn't he?

The Prodigal Son...

So the Gospel reading for yesterday was the Parable of the Prodigal Son.  We've all heard it before.  And I'm sure we've all struggled with it before.  I think we all initially identify with the older son; the one who stayed with his father, was loyal and hardworking.  We think about how unfair it is when the rebellious son comes home, and he receives all of the glory.  But then after we give it some thought, I think we all identify with the rebellious son.  As sinners, I think we should find it very comforting.  God is like that forgiving father.  He's loving us and waiting for us to repent and come back to him.  He's waiting with open arms to celebrate our return.

As this reading was taking place at church yesterday, I was thinking about my classroom.  I was thinking about those kids who just don't want to/can't seem to behave.  The ones you have to put on "behavior contracts" and basically bribe in order to act right.  They are ornery, obnoxious, and/or disrespectful a good portion of the time.  And when they finally make a good choice or stay on task, you better believe you celebrate it.  They get a big "thank you", a treat, a pat on the back, etc.  Just about anything to try and reinforce that behavior.  But what about those kids that are good all the time...just because it's what they're supposed to be doing?  They're always on task, they're always respectful, they just do what's right.  It's not fair.  As teachers, we do our best not to take these kids for granted.  We try to make sure they know how much they are appreciated.  But then, I guess that's life isn't it?  Frustrating and unfair at times, and full of opportunities to both forgive and be forgiven.

We all have our moments when we're like the loyal older son.  We all have our moments when we are like the rebellious son.  We should all just take comfort in the fact that no matter who we are or what we've done, we've got our Father who loves us.

Just some thoughts.

Patience and Perspective...

As I'm laying on the couch, trying to take a nap, my mind is racing.  I'm inundated with thoughts.  But luckily, I've been able to sort most of them into 2 main categories.  Neither topic, on its own, would be long enough for its own blog post.  So today, I'm combining them into one long, awesome, and somewhat deep post. 

 

 

Patience:



• Patience is a virtue.
• Good things come to those who wait.
• Dear Lord...Grant me the patience to endure my Blessings!
• Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish. ~John Quincy Adams
• Take it slow. It'll work itself out fine. All we need is just a little patience. ~Guns 'n' Roses
• If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? ~God (Morgan Freeman in Evan Almighty)

These are just a few of the sayings and quotes out there about patience. My favorites are the last two.
The Guns 'n' Roses one, primarily because it goes hand-in-hand with FAITH (yeah, yeah...Guns 'n' Roses is probably not the most spiritual group out there, but still...). There are some things we don't have control of. And for those, we must turn them over to God, be patient, and have faith. In fact, I just stumbled across a picture that goes right along with this:

And the Evan Almighty one reminds me that God works in mysterious ways. Your plan and your timing aren't necessarily (and usually aren't) the same as God's. It also reminds me to be careful what you wish for. I know I've got myself PLENTY of opportunities to be patient...I'm pretty sure that I don't need to pray for more. Heaven help me, if I do!


Perspective:

Life is truly all about perspective:

My dear brother-in-law, Joel, posted this on his facebook page the other day:

     "Have you noticed that many people have such a tendency to say things like, "can't Friday hurry up and get here" or "I wish this day was over" etc... I am certain I have made similar comments on occasion but it just seems to me you are wishing your life away. I think part of it is pressure from society to say those things. You know how your uncle's and such always would say, "don't ever get married...", even though they loved being married. It's almost like society wants us to be cynical so we follow that lead. My concern is it's almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy when you choose that attitude to speak over your life.
Life IS the journey, not a destination. As I get older I find this more and more to be true. It's figuring out how to be a better Christian (or person if you prefer) every day. It's fighting temptation and winning every once in a while. It's telling the devil to watch out and trusting in the power given by the spirit. It's about dealing with the strains and stress of life and learning from them so you don't have to repeat them next Monday. It is about making even one person's day better by a smile, a kind word or a chocolate covered strawberry.
I love life, always have and I know I am lucky for that. I screw up more than anyone I know and get myself into situations that only humility and honesty can get me out of. But I wake up every morning and make a choice on what my attitude toward life is going to be that day. Will I happen to life, or let life happen to me.
I know so many people just like this that take life by the horn and ride it until they get bucked off....then they just get back on. Speak life over yourself, your family and friends, and even perfect strangers. Make the days count...don't just count the days."

 

And my sister let me know about a friend of hers whose son is dying.  At this point he's been given days, or maybe only hours left.  Their story and the pictures I have seen just break my heart.  But they've also given me a healthy dose of perspective.  This was a particularly difficult and stressful week for me at school.  And on Friday, every time I caught myself wishing for the hours to speed up I thought about this woman who is cherishing these same hours with her son and wishing for more.  Every time I caught myself getting frustrated with my kids who were fighting, being rude, and annoying I thought about how incredibly blessed I am to have kids who are healthy enough to drive me nuts.  It makes me think of the St. Jude's ads: 

 

Maybe now, I can get some rest? 

 

Probably not.

Bob and Beth...

I've been thinking a lot about these two people lately.  About how amazing they must have been.  They raised 4 wonderful people that I am so privileged to have in my life.  They instilled in their children:  determination, generosity, integrity, and a sense of humor.  They modeled for their children what a successful, happy marriage looks like.

They are my mother-in-law and father-in-law.  I think about them often.  I wonder what they would have thought when Kevin brought me home for the first time.  I wonder what they would have said to me on our wedding day.  I wonder what they would think of how we are raising their grandchildren.  I wonder if I am making them proud...being the kind of wife they would have wanted for their son (their baby)...the kind of mother they would have wanted for their grand kids.

I imagine Bob and my dad hitting it off.  From the stories I've heard, they'd have some stories to share.  I picture Beth and my mom being great friends...cut from the same cloth.  I wonder.  I imagine.  I pray.

I know that by knowing and loving their children, I am knowing at least a little bit of them.  The unending kindness, understanding, and strength of their oldest daughter...the devotion, generosity, and dependability of their oldest son...the determination, resiliency, and gentle spirit of their youngest daughter...the integrity, commitment, and ingenuity (not to mention, rugged good looks) of their youngest son.

These wonderful traits had to come from somewhere, right? 

So here's to Bob and Beth Prickett.  I thank you, I think of you, and I pray for you often.

Looking Ahead...

 

This is going to be a fairly short blog post, but I just couldn't let a New Year's go by without posting something.  And as this new year begins, I find myself looking forward.  You know how when you go to a movie, you look forward to the previews almost as much as you do the actual movie?  Well, think of 2013 as the "movie", and this post a "preview".  2013 is looking to be a big year in several ways:

~ Babies

• I will get regular baby-time with my bestie's new baby, Quinn. 
• My little brother and his wife are expecting their first child in June.
• My sister and her husband are expecting their third child in August.

             **SO EXCITED!!!!

~ Birthdays

• My sweet Hannah is turning 10...a whole decade old! 
• Several friends of ours are turning 30.

                   
~ Anniversaries

• My parents' 40th wedding anniversary is in December. (amazing, right?)
• August 28 will be the 7th anniversary of my leukemia diagnosis. (I know 7 years seems like a weird landmark, but I'll explain in a blog later.)
• August will also begin my 10th year of teaching.

~ Faith

• Mason will have his First Communion in May.
• My new nieces/nephews will be getting baptised. 

I'm sure many there are other landmark events that I am overlooking, but we'll get to them in good time.  I mean, how good would a preview be if it gave away all of the best parts?!

All that being said, you will notice that none of those things have anything to do with resolutions.  As I've blogged about before, I'm not big on making resolutions, because there's nothing about a new year that makes my goals any different than they are the rest of the year.  And...I'm no fool:

"He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool."   – F.M. Knowles,