20 Questions...

I know we all know this game. But did you know it was also once a board game? Well, my family happens to own that game. And for them, all I need to say is "BILL COSBY"! For everyone else, let me explain. One night many years ago, my family was playing this game. It was my sister's turn, and her category was "person". She asked something along the lines of, "Are you a man?" The answer to which was yes. Then she quite confidently shouted the previously mentioned Bill Cosby as if there was no other person it could have been. ...And she was right! So now, anytime we play a game and we are not quite sure what the answer is, we all shout, "Bill Cosby". And it actually worked once.

In addition to it being a board game, it is also a pretty amazing little electronic device called 20Q. Here you get to think of the person, place, or thing, and 20Q asks you questions. You hit buttons to answer yes or no, and usually it can guess what you are thinking in less than 20 questions. Pretty cool.

But today, I'd just like to focus on answering/posing questions that are not answered with a yes or no. Rest assured, they will be things I know you've always wanted to know about me. Some will just be things that I've wondered about, that maybe have never made sense to me (so maybe you'll be able to answer them). And I'll end with the 10 questions that James Lipton always asks on Inside the Actors Studio. Let's get this thing started...


1) Why do the Cialis commercials always have the man and woman in bathtubs? Two separate bath tubs? I mean, it's a commercial for an ED medication. It just doesn't make sense. Maybe if they were both in the same tub together, but not like this. It bugs me.

2) Why are the Cowboys you favorite pro football team? This is a perfectly reasonable question these days, especially since they haven't really done anything great in the last 15 some odd year. Well, the short and sweet answer is this: I am not a fair-weather fan. I am loyal. We were not really a football watching house growing up (except for our high school). But when they were in the glory days of the triplets, I couldn't help but get caught up in their awesomeness. And I've been a fan ever since. I have faith that they will be great again. Someday.

3) If you hate the Texas heat so much, why don't you move to another state?  Well, aside from the whole "uprooting-the kids-this is where my job is-having to start over" thing (which I know people do all the time), the truth of the matter is that I am far too much of a family oriented person.  I simply need to be able to see them as often as possible.  I can't imagine being much farther away and getting to see them (in-laws included) less than I do now.  It's just not me.  You will all just have to put up with my griping during the summer.   :)

4) Why do kids insist on doing the same things over and over, knowing full-well they are going to get in trouble for it?  My sister's 20 Questions answer, Bill Cosby, answered this question best:  brain damage.

5) What is the scariest moment of your life so far?  When unbeknownst to me Mason was hiding from me at a restaurant, and after searching the place the only thing I could think of was that he had been kidnapped...even Hannah was worried.  As I was rushing out of the front door to check for cars leaving, he popped out from behind the cashier station and said, "Surprise Mommy!"  I was both relieved and furious at the same time.

6)  Who would you cast to play you in a movie about your life?  Well, I think that answer is obvious...Jessica Biel, of course!   (don't laugh too hard, now)  Now she would have to gain about 50 pounds to be close to accurate, but who ever said it would have to be accurate?  I mean, you can see the resemblance, right? (just google some pics, and you'll see...HA!)    :)

7) If you could have a super-power, what would you choose?  OK, I'm not so sure that this is a power than any movie super hero has ever had (well, I think the little girl in the Incredibles did, actually).  And the character, Bella, in the Twilight books ends up being able to do this after she gets turned into a vampire:  shield.  The power to shield those around you (like a force field) from harm.  I think the Incredibles girl's shield protected from physical harm, and Bella's protects from mental harm.  So ideally, I'd like to have a shielding power that did both.  That's not to say that I would want to shield everyone from everything.  Just those Jack Bauer situations we all get in where a loved one is being tortured.

8) What is one thing that most people have probably done that you have never done?  I've already told you how I've never smoked, not even a cigarette, not even once.  So here's a new one.  I have never flipped someone off...not even in a joking manner.  I've never even held up my middle finger by myself when no one's looking just to try it.  I don't know, I just can't bring myself to do it.  I know...I'm such a square.

9) What exactly does the phrase "bread and butter" mean and/or where did it come from?  Two things here.  Bread and Butter pickles?  It just doesn't make sense.  They don't taste like bread and butter.  They don't have bread or butter in them.  Are you just supposed to eat them with bread and butter, because that doesn't quite make sense either.  And as for the expression that could go something like this, "He was the bread and butter of that team."  Does that mean that he was the best?  Or does it mean he was the base or foundation of the team like bread and butter are the base of a good meal?  I don't know...I'm just grasping at straws here.  And there's another one...grasping at straws?

10) What is your favorite movie remake?  Well, I'm sure there are plenty of other good ones out there (there are also plenty of crappy ones, too), but these are the 3 that first came to mind that I truly enjoyed:  Father of the Bride (I'll be honest, I never saw the original.  But for me, this is the original and there just is no topping it.), Cape Fear (I did actually see the original of this, and I think the Robert Deniro one far surpasses it.), and Foot Loose (It stayed true to the glorious cheesiness of the original, but added just enough to freshen it up a bit...a job well done.)


...and now for the James Lipton Questionnaire...

11) What is your favorite word? hope

12) What is your least favorite word? I don't know if this is the worst for me, but it is up there...it makes me cringe:  the "n word"

13) What turns you on? a sense of humor

14) What turns you off? pretentiousness or douche-baggery

15) What noise or sound do you love? cliche yes, but it's still true...the sound of my loved ones laughing

16) What noise or sound do you hate? the sound of my dogs licking themselves.  yuck.

17) What is your favorite curse word? The one that I say the most often is probably damn, but my favorite to say (which I don't really say that often) is:  son-of-a-bitch.  But it has to be the whole thing...all 4 words. 

18) What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt?  I think this list is probably longer than it should be:  author, nurse, storm-chaser, ghost hunter, baker...(not necessarily in that order)

19) What profession would you not like to do? I know that there are many, but as I sit staring at the piles of laundry on our couch, the first one that comes to mind is:  hotel laundry attendant.

20) If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?  Welcome home.

And now, for your viewing pleasure:

The real James Lipton...

And the spoof by Will Ferrell...
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/hl-4956918/saturday_night_live_inside_the_actors_studio_season_26/