Old Already...

OK, here it is....I'm getting old. There, I said it. I know, I know. I'm only 28 (29 in June), and yes, I do realize that it's not actually old. But I also realize that the "getting old process" which started at the mere age of 21 is now in full swing!

So let's back track a bit to where all of this oldness started: that's right...kids. I had Hannah 1 month before I turned 22. And as we all know (whether you've actually got any or not), kids make you old. And Hannah specifically was enough to make anyone age a few years in the first two weeks! Then came the task of trying to finish school (summer school and student teaching included), with a newborn at home. So, we can add a couple more years there. I then graduated, taught my first year of second grade, and had Mason when I was 23. I know...it's alot...that's got to be another 3-4 years right there.

So, at that point my actual age was 23, but my "life age" was 32.

Now, let's skip ahead a few years to when my actual age was 26. I had 3 years of teaching under my belt (I think you get to tack on an extra year of age for every year that you teach), so that's 3 more "life years" as well. That is also the year I was diagnosed with leukemia. That in-and-of-itself is enough to add 5 years, but let's also take into consideration how old it makes me feel physically and how the average age of people with CML is 56, that's another 5 years...at least.

Are you keeping up? At that point I was 26, but my "life age" was 45.

So now that I'm actually 28, almost 29, all of this "life age" is starting to show. There's pretty much no amount of make-up that can make my eyes not look tired anymore. I'm starting to get the faintest of crows feet and some more defined laugh lines. I think my eyelids are sagging, too. So if we factor looks into the equation, I'd add a good 3 years there. And let's not forget that all this time, I've been married to and living with Kevin. I love him dearly, and he is amazing, but bless his heart...I think I can add a year of age for every 2 years we've been married.

So that's it. My actual age is 28, and my "life age" is 52. But let's look at the bright side, now that I'm done complaining:

*I look pretty darn good for 52.
*I have had enough fun, smiled enough, and laughed enough to have laugh lines at 28.
*I am married to a wonderful man. He's my best friend, a reliable source of laughter, and a constant companion so that I never have to be lonely.
*I have 2 terrific kids that I am so lucky to have. I see so many people that try to hard to get pregnant, and I truly, truly know how blessed I am to have them.
*I have a job that is stable and that I am good at. Don't get me wrong...I'm not tooting my own horn. I'm just saying, again, that I am blessed to have it.

So, I'm getting old....what else is new?!

Dear So and So...

I feel the need, the need for.....sarcasm! So, I figure it's time for another Dear So and So post. Read, enjoy, and feel free to leave a comment or even your own Dear So and So letter...


Dear Rain,

I think I've had enough of you. I know that our ground really needs you, and that you're important...yada, yada, yada. But every time you come around, you make my joints hurt even more than they do on a normal day. Having my knees, ankles, elbows, wrists, and fingers be so stiff and achy makes me quite grumpy. I don't appreciate it.

Tired and Achy,
Cakes


Dear Spring Break,

I've really enjoyed spending time with you. You've been both restful and fun. But it seems like you just got here. You don't really have to go, do you? I mean just a couple more days couldn't really hurt, could it? You came into my life at just the right time, and it just seems wrong to let you go so soon. But I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder. Please come back soon.

Already Missing You,
Cakes


Dear Luke,

Sometimes all I can do is roll my eyes and shake my head at you. You are one of the most annoying dogs in the world. Sure, you're cute...in an Ewok meets Gremlin kind of way. But cute's just not enough for me. I really need for you to stop peeing and pooping in the house. Yes, I admit you've gotten better, but come on! I know Kevin fell through on his whole "I promise I'll train him. I'll be home with him all the time" guarantee, but still.

Frustrated and Disgusted,
Cakes


Dear Date Night,

Why are you so elusive? I know people that seem to enjoy your company quite regularly. So what's wrong with us? We've come very close to finding you, but then at the last second, you get away. Why is it so easy for some, but so difficult for us? I understand that you probably like feeling rare, unique, and almost mysterious. But I'd really appreciate it if you eased up on the game of cat and mouse just a bit. I promise we're pretty fun, and we'd love it if you gave us the chance to get to know you.

Determined to Find You,
Cakes


Dear Summer,

I can't wait to see you again! It feels like it's been such a long time. Last time we were together, I know we didn't do much, but it was still great spending time with you. But I've actually got plans for our next visit, so it should be even better than last time! We've only got 11 more weeks to go. I know it seems like a long wait, but hopefully it will go by quickly.

Looking Forward to Our Reunion,
Cakes

Favorite Moments...

The great minds of Salt-N-Pepa once said, "I wanna take a minute or two and give much respect due to the man who's made a difference in my world." Well, I would like to take some time to give my respect to quite a few more people than that. I am going to limit myself to listing only 1 or 2 moment(s) per person (which will allow a part 2 and maybe even a part 3 at some point). So here are some of my favorite moments with some of my favorite people...


Mom
~ Watching "9 Months" with her is great. When that delivery scene comes on, she and I start laughing hysterically before it really even starts getting good. And when it does start getting to its funniest parts, we laugh until we cry. It's the BEST!
~ I love when she and I are cooking together, or even just sitting in the kitchen together and just chit-chatting. It's very easy, comfortable, and safe. She is one of my best friends. It's very enjoyable for me, and it's one of my favorite parts about going home.

Dad
~ My High School youth group did a reenactment of Jesus' Stations of the Cross for church. I played one of the women that Jesus comforted and consoled (the 8th station). Anyway, with the music that we had, the lights dimmed, and the very obvious acting skills from all of us, it was very powerful. It was the first time I had ever seen him cry. Afterward, he told me how moved he was and what a good job we did.

Brad
~ One day when he was home on leave, he surprised me by having lunch with me up at school. He sat there and ate lunch with me and my oh-so-cool friends just telling stories and answering their questions. And I think there was another time he surprised me by picking me up from school. There was just something cool about having my older, military brother spend time with me away from home.

Jaime
~ Playing Girl Talk. For those of you who don't know or don't remember, it was basically a board game version of truth or dare. Anyway, we would sit up in our room and play that silly game. If there was a question we didn't want to answer (like either of us had anything to hide at that point) or a dare we didn't want to do, the rule was that you had a take a zit sticker and put it on your face (like either one of us needed stickers to have zits). It was great fun, and the worst dare in that whole game was to eat a ketchup sandwich. I know it doesn't sound that terrible, but I tried and failed...I couldn't stop gagging...I had to take a zit!

Josh
~ Aside from the times he would beg to be dressed up like a girl, some of my favorite moments with him were when we were just hanging out. Maybe I was talking to him and his friends upstairs (yes, actually talking and not lecturing or guilting). Maybe he and I were just running errands for mom. Or maybe we actually went to a movie or something. It was during those times that I really felt like I was getting to know him as a person and not just as my brother. And I think it was those times that laid the foundation for our relationship as friends.

Kevin
~ My favorite moments with Cakes revolve around music and/or laughter. So when I do a part 2, it will be similar in that respect. But this time, I'll talk about our honeymoon (get your minds out of the gutter). We drove just over 3,000 miles, so we had lots of time in the car. We filled that time listening to (and singing to) great music. We figured out baby names. And we played a lot of 20 questions...which got to be a great source of laughter. We didn't have a set schedule, so we could stop when we wanted to stop, take pictures of things we wanted to take pictures of, and we could just be silly. It was the best vacation ever!


Well, I think that's all for now...it's already plenty long. If you are not represented here, don't freak out...you're still probably one of my favorite people. You'll just have to be patient and wait for part 2...or part 3...

Peace Out!

The Kids' Latest...

MASON:
So, Friday nights are late night movie night for Hannah and Mason. They get to watch movies in mommy and daddy's room until they fall asleep...and Kevin and I get to watch whatever else we want in the living room. Well, this past Friday was one of those nights. Kevin and I are in the living room watching something (probably catching up on our DVR'd stuff from the week), and Mason comes running in. He says, "Daddy! Daddy! I've got a secret for you!)

Well, Mason is big on secrets. He loves to tell us sweet little secrets like "I love you", or "You're the best", and other things like that. And his secrets are never that secretive, since he hasn't mastered the art of whispering.

So naturally, we didn't think anything of it, and we were prepared to hear the usual. So Mason runs in and climbs up into Kevin's lap. He leans in to Kevin's ear, cups his hand around his mouth to really shield this secret from me, and in his loud "whispering" voice he says, "I tooted on Hannah's face!"

At first Kevin and I are speechless. But that quickly turns into Kevin's typical kind of hysterical laughter where he can't help but writhe in his chair. And I (being the grown up) try to stiffle my laughter and tell him that that was not nice, and he should not be doing that. So, he just runs back to our bedroom laughing all the way.

Well, not more than 2 minutes later he comes back into the living room. He says, "Do I have to go to bed now? Hannah's asleep." We say, "No, you can stay up a little later." And then it dawns on us. I say, "Mason, was Hannah asleep when you tooted on her?!"

With the cutest devilish look on his face he says, "Noooo". And he giggles mischieviously as he runs away.

OMG! What a normal, disgusting brother he is!!


HANNAH:
So, Im bringing Hannah home from school one day last week. As we're driving down the road, she says, "Mommy? If you saw a tiger, would it try to eat you?"

Well, as random as that was, I give her a straight answer. "Well, honey, it depends". Not wanting her to be afraid when we go to the zoo I say,"If we were at the zoo, no it wouldn't try to eat me. It would be in its cage, and I would be a safe distance away. That would not happen." But also trying to be honest, I explain, "But if I were in the jungle, and it was just me and the tiger...then, yes. After all, I'm just meat to a tiger."

She looks and sounds confused when she says, "What do you mean, you're meat?" I say, "Well, people are just another kind of animal. Tigers eat other animals for their meat. So, I'm sure it would just look at a person as another animal...as meat."

She still looks and sounds confused when she says, "Oh. Well, I knew we were beans. But not meat."

Now I look and sound confused when I ask, "Honey, what do you mean you knew we were beans?"

She matter-of-factly says, "You know...we're human beans."

OMG, I fought back the laughter and the urge to just gush about how cute she was, and I explained "Oh, you mean human beings. The word is be-ings...not beans."

To this, she gives me the standard "Uncle Joel face" (for those of you who don't know, it's pretty much just a look of puzzlement mixed with shock and frustration at how stupid the other person is) and tries to wrap her mind around the word. "Be-ings?! Really? Huh. That's a wierd word."

I'm thinking really? The fact that you thought we were beans was OK, but realizing we're meat and learning a new word is too much for you?

Writer's Block...

So, does it count as writer's block if you can't think of anything to blog about? I really don't think it does, but that's what it feels like. Even though I'm pretty sure it just has more to do with the fact that my brain is completely and utterly fried. I have never been so ready for Spring Break before!

I've sat with this laptop just staring at the screen day after day. I've got several started and unfinished blogs. I've just got nothing worthwhile to say. I know how disappointed you all are! I can just see your concerned faces and hear your worried thoughts. But let me assure you, I will be alright. I'm sure after a few days of no school, my mind will be refreshed and ready to go! Plus, let's not forget the fact that February was a big blogging month for me. I did write 6 incredibly thoughtful, sarcastic, and funny blogs in one short month. I don't want all my fans to get too greedy. :)

Anyway, that's enough of my fake ego. I just didn't want you to think I was slacking. I just can't seem to pull myself out of this writing funk!

I'll leave you with this: A guy walks into the psychiatrist's office wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

:)

Autobiography...

Once again, I'm stealing an idea from someone else. My wonderful brother-in-law, Joel, included a section in his latest blog where he listed some titles for the chapters of his life so far. I thought I'd give it a try...

Don't Stop Believin' ... A Musical Memior

Chapter 1: My Girl (by The Temptations) = Welcoming baby Tracy to the world....everything from how adorable I was to the adorable things I used to say
Chapter 2: We Are Family (by Sister Sledge) = Growing up Roth....everything from being abused and neglected by my older siblings and having my creativity stifled with coloring books to favorite memories...like game nights and ghost hunts
Chapter 3: A Little Help From My Friends (by John Lennon and Paul McCartney) = This section will be devoted to those friends that have been in my life since elementary, middle, and high school)
Chapter 4: Your Love Endures (by Third Day) = Truly discovering my relationship with Christ for the first time....my experiences in my wonderful youth group and confirmation class
Chapter 5: Amazed (by Lonestar) = meeting, dating, falling in love with, and marrying Kevin....and how much my parents loved him from the very start! ha-ha!
Chapter 6: It Won't Be Like This For Long (by Darius Rucker) = Motherhood....the good, the bad, and the very often ugly....but also funny
Chapter 7: ABC (by The Jackson 5) = Teaching....I'll try to do the job justice, so that people know just how hard it is...yeah, yeah, it's rewarding...but that's not nearly as fun to read about
Chapter 8: I Will Survive (by Gloria Gaynor) = Leukemia....being diagnosed and living with it...what it's like, and how blessed I still am
Chapter 9: Family Tradition (by Hank Williams Jr.) = My grown-up relationship with my family...who are now also my friends...and the importance of traditions
Chapter 10: Lean On Me (by Bill Withers) = My friends from my Denton life....the love, support, and most of all...the laughs
Chapter 11: I Can Only Imagine (by MercyMe) = Thoughts, prayers, and hopes for the future....God has a path and a plan for all of us...what will the rest of mine be?

So there it is...the best I can come up with for now. I would, of course, include a CD with my book that had these as well as other songs that have helped color my life.

:)