Sunday, November 3, 2013

Call Me a Fuddy-Duddy...

I was raised by parents who took movie ratings seriously.  Or at least kind-of seriously.  I knew that if it was PG-13, I wasn't allowed to watch it until I was 13 (unless my parents made an exception for some reason).  And I knew that if it was R, well, I had some waiting to do.  And really, I was OK with that.

I remember being able to watch most of a movie, but not certain parts/scenes (the face melting in Raiders of the Lost Ark, the abortion scene in Dirty Dancing, etc.)  But there were enough exceptions made that I didn't really feel like I was missing out on too much: Weird Science, Secret of My Success, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Bird on a Wire, Dances With Wolves, Robin Hood...all PG-13 movies that I loved and was allowed to see before I was 13.  And I know there were others, too.  Speed, Blown Away, Outbreak, A Time to Kill...all awesome R rated movies that I was able to see before I was technically "old enough", too.

Sure, being restricted meant that sometimes I actually told friends, "No.  My parents won't let me watch that movie."  But believe it or not, it was never really a big deal.  And sure, that meant that when I was watching a movie, I found myself counting "f words" and other objectionable things so I could set limits for myself.  Maybe that made me a goodie-two-shoes, but so be it.  (And for the record...I'm pretty sure that was not the only thing that made me a goodie-two-shoes.)

That being said, I've carried on those same practices of my parents into my own parenting.  So, call me a fuddy-duddy, but I tend not to let my kids watch PG-13 movies.  Unless I've seen it and have either deemed it "OK" or of a high enough awesomeness level to outweigh the objectionable qualities.  But for the most part, I figure they're rated PG-13 for a reason. 


And for the most part, I stick to it.  There are movies that I've let them watch all but 5 minutes of, because there's a scene that I don't think they should see (when Anakin gets burned/melted on the lava planet in Episode 3, when Professor Lupin turns into a werewolf in Prisoner of Azkaban, etc.).  Again, call me a fuddy-duddy, but I think they have plenty of time in life to see/hear scary, vulgar, inappropriate, gory things...why shouldn't I protect them from as much of it as I can...while I can?  Now, I'm not saying we should totally shelter them and keep them on a leash.  I say "cut the cord"...helicopter parents aren't doing their kids any favors!  However, we do still have a job to do.

And now, my kids are at an age where they're spending more time at friends' houses, having sleep overs and the like.  And trust me, I know this is only the beginning.  But they're already coming home having watched movies that I wouldn't have let them watch.  Nothing awful, still only PG-13, but I imagine it won't be long before R rated movies come into play.  My kids are good kids.  They have good friends with good parents.  But, it's happening nonetheless.  I can talk with the parents and see if maybe they can text me first.  I can talk with Hannah and Mason about expectations for trustworthiness and honesty, but I guess that's about it, isn't it?  I don't think I'm being unreasonable, though.  And I think it extends to TV shows and video games as well.  At school, I hear all the time about the shows kids are watching and the games their playing, and I just don't get it.  I just want to do everything I can to keep my kids innocent (not that they're angels) as long as possible.

Call me naïve.  Call me strict.  Call me a fuddy-duddy.  So be it.